Women are very finicky about their men. They know exactly what they want in a man and they have a one-track mind when it comes to finding that in any potential partner. This has given birth to a mating game that men don’t always understand. So, they should play the game cautiously! Men should try to understand how women think. They have to hack into their brains and do this, so that they can seduce women effectively. The fact is that men think that they have the “tool″ to intoxicate women, a bulging tumescent tool, but women often don’t see things the same way!
It’s not that men can’t turn a woman on, but these are the rare cases - perhaps two per cent of all cases. But these odds just aren’t good enough for men, are they? So, they should try to get into the minds of women and understand them so that they can hit the jackpot more often and have an exciting and exuberant sex life. But men have to be patient and understanding first! It cannot be denied that the position of women has changed in the modern world. Today, they are prominent in every field, have achieved financial independence to a large extent and are bold and vocal. They feel that they have the right to demand sexual satisfaction and marital happiness on their own terms. So, they have their own fix on how far they can go in every matter.
Today, women choose their men carefully and decide whom they want to have sex with. As a result, men who ruled the roost earlier, have to face the humiliation of being rejected and having their overtures refused. For hundreds of years, men have done the choosing and they have generally gone by cup-size rather than IQ. Now, women want to play by the same rules.
Both men and women have physical and behavioural turn-ons as far as the other sex is concerned. If one man is turned on by the cup-size of a woman, a woman might find herself turned on by a man’s well-developed shoulders. Or if a man is turned on by bold behaviour, a woman might be turned on by sensitivity in a man. These turn-ons indicate that extreme pleasure can result from intercourse. Intellectuals often say that the aim of sex is not always pleasure.
It is the propagation of the species, they say. But arguments are mere sophistry. Sex is for pleasure, but nature has also helped in the matter of selective propagation of the fittest and best. Women are interested in sexually attractive males for the pleasure they know they will get from intercourse with them.
But attractive looks are also very important for them and a strong, sexually attractive body almost always goes with health and a strong, immune system.
WHAT TURNS ON WOMEN
Again, since wealth and status are also big turn-ons for women, this means that the offspring of such unions will have money invested in them and their chances of surviving and reproducing are very good.
In earlier times, childbirth was dangerous and often resulted in the death of the baby, the mother or both. Health and beauty generally went together and attracted males and the babies born of such unions were usually healthy and they survived. But men believe that women do not understand this and that they often couple with the wrong men.
Cathy, for instance, thinks that looks are not all that important in a man. Her man need not have the looks of a model, she says. Speaking for all women, she says that women are often attracted to a man who has a single good feature that they think is important.
That feature is often a sexy gait. So, men will have to learn to walk in a sexy manner to give the fit-to-reproduce signal. That might be easy, but what about other signals? How much are these signals under their control and how can they project them?
Women have it easier because the signals men give are less complicated and are easy to understand. Men are attracted by lusciously sexy looks. This is a signal that women can easily understand. This is why women are so looks conscious and why they are constantly trying to make themselves look more beautiful. They use everything that they think could help them, everything from lipsticks to corsets.
This is why women’s magazines are so full of beauty features and ads for cosmetics. There is no use scoffing at this because all these things help a woman to attract men. Make no mistake, all this works! Let a woman who wants to be more attractive to men, wear a pushup bra and see what a difference that makes to her social life! A woman wants the man she loves to feel that she is hot. But today, a woman who uses her wiles on men is often called a bimbo.
Men are very conscious about their physiques and feel that they are sending out the correct signals when they firm up their muscles. They can do this with bicycling, walking or by investing more money and time in it, through martial art. But they need not overdo this muscles business.
Women aren’t all that turned on by muscles. In fact, most intelligent women don’t go for the musclebound weightlifter look. Yes, women like to see well-toned arm, shoulder and chest muscles in their men, because then they can wear snug-fitting short-sleeved shirts and tank tops, which are the closest equivalents of a woman’s cleavage!
But Cathy has a word of warning. Men shouldn’t overdo the muscles-and-tight-shirt thing because of the danger of giving the impression that they are gay. Once a man has a reasonable amount of muscles, he should just wear a simple T-shirt. This will be very effective, provided that it fits him snugly and is clean.
Amy has more to say on this business of cleanliness. She says that men should wash their hair and brush their teeth regularly. Women rejoice in their own long and shining hair. So, they are definitely turned off by greasy hair. Cathy adds that no woman will willingly get into the sack with a man who smells bad. Men should, therefore, be attentive to their breath especially after they have eaten garlic or other strong-smelling foods.
MEN SHOULD BE READY
Men should brush their teeth often. Sex with a woman doesn’t go well if a man’s breath is foul. If they don’t have time to brush before sex, they should at least use a mouth freshener. Amy adds that women love long hair.
Not only do they like to keep their own hair long, they also love long hair in their men. It is an instant turn-on for them. So, men should grow their hair and then wash it often and toss it on their shoulders. Amy’s boyfriend’s hair is so gorgeous that women come up to him and touch his hair. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your guy too had something that all the other women loved?
But not all men can have and maintain such attractive physical assets and, anyway, they consider that these cues to women are less important than other behavioural and status cues. In the past, men worried whether a woman would be able to get pregnant, survive pregnancy and childbirth and give her man many children. Women worried about whether their men would be able and willing to provide for her and her children.
As women became freer, they began to think of cheating on their men or conning them into supporting their children so that they could have genetic variety in their offspring. When women began to think like this, they also began to tilt towards seeing physical sexiness as the indicator of health and suitability in a partner.
Eric is confused. How can he impress a girl and make her think that he is kind, wealthy, respected and talented, when he is just an ordinary geek? Amy feels that being articulate, speaking correctly and having a good vocabulary is important. Cathy has this suggestion for Eric. She feels that his interest in writing poetry is a definite asset. A woman loves her man reciting original poetry to her. Even if it is not very good poetry, it proves that he loves her and that he has been thinking about her.
THE IDEAL MAN
Amy says that her husband is very considerate. He regularly opens doors for her. He is not sexist or chauvinistic. She is glad that she does not have to endure the bad-mannered losers she used to date when she was single any longer. Her husband’s good manners and generosity have convinced her that pleasant manners and good breeding melt a woman’s heart. So, men should sit back and remember all the manners that their mothers taught them! She also says that women love men who are cool. So, men should try to be cool.
Cathy says that some women are stupid enough to think that they are more intelligent and sophisticated than women were in the past. Women love men who are interested in music and poetry. They also want their men to be courteous and good listeners. Men should also be articulate, should dress well and should be capable of rising in their professions. If men are all this, women want to display their legs and breasts to them!
Women know what they want in their men and, if they don’t get what they want, they become disconsolate. So, they should make sure that men understand their signals!
Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and writes articles about love, dating and relationships. Also he provides mendatingmanual.com dating tips for men and womendatingmanual.com dating advice for women at his website datersmanual.com datersmanual.com.