Looking for REAL Love - It Starts With Unlearning

Real Love for Real People.

When you say “I believe” are you sure you are being wise? Many things we believe are actually rationalizations. Justifications. We believe this and that because it makes something we did, or didn’t do, ok.

Alternatively, we “believe” certain things because others caused us discomfort, and we now believe they shouldn’t have. Therefore, we believe.

To live a real loving life you better not “believe” too much. Beliefs are your egoistic nature, not true nature. No one wants to be with your egoistic nature for long. It’s boring, righteous and lacks intimacy. There is no vulnerability in beliefs.

Real love can only penetrate the walls of egoistic beliefs if you are willing, at home at least, to confess you don’t really know. If you are always right, you’ll be uptight.

At work you might need this façade, because you are afraid of being fired, or seen as insecure, but you have to take off this coat at home. To be in this suit at home is not real, its false.

This is why all affairs happen. It’s not only caused by the participating partner. The “passive Victim” in a relationship has as much responsibility in causing an affair as the active one. If we can’t be real at home, because the passive partner has all these expectations and judgments, then people take their vulnerability elsewhere.

I believe in love, real love. And I know you do too. The real issue is are your beliefs real too. Real beliefs tie up with a universal law. Real then, because they are not the invention of self created fears and justifications, or rationalizations. Real because they are universal. There’s two sides to everything and every one – now that’s a universal law and that leads to real love.

Can you love both sides of you?

Live Inspired

chriswalker.com.au Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit chriswalker.com.au chriswalker.com.au

Diamond Promise Rings - For When You Mean It

Diamond promise rings are quite common, but many are not all that sure what they are. What is a promise ring? And what does it mean?

Promise rings (all of them, not just diamond promise rings, I just love diamond ones) are a symbol of a promise made between 2 people that both intend to keep.

Not just any old promise, there are lots of those. But a really serious promise. One that is so important between two people that they are both prepared to make a public statement of their promise and intention to keep it by the wearing of a diamond promise ring.

They can also be known variously as a pre engagement ring, or a purity ring. Each is slightly different. Sometimes they are called a friendship ring, perhaps incorrectly.

A pre engagement ring is a symbol of an intention between 2 people to get engaged at some time in the future. A diamond promise ring of this type is a serious commitment. One not to be undertaken lightly. A statement to all who see it that these 2 people are committed to each other. That although the time is not right, for various reasons, to get engaged, they have both been prepared to make that serious commitment regardless.

A friendship ring is slightly different and may not be, strictly speaking, a promise ring. It is more commonly a symbol of a very strong friendship between 2 people. There is of course, nothing wrong with this at all, just that it is not strictly a symbol of a promise. Just a symbol of a special feeling. For example where 2 strong friends find that their lives take them to different parts of the world they can exchange diamond promise rings to seal their continuing friendship.

A diamond purity ring, on the other hand, is a symbol of a very strong promise of a very serious nature between 2 people. This is perhaps the most well known and most serious type of diamond promise ring, and perhaps requires the most thought, and the most commitment.

Often entered into between 2 younger people, a purity ring is a promise about sexual purity. Often made between 2 young people for religious reasons, it is a promise to abstain from sexual activity until a certain time, usually their marriage.

And it need not always be a promise made between 2 people, it can also be a promise to oneself. A display of a promise that a young person shall remain pure until the time is right. Still, though, a very serious promise.

Some consider that a purity ring of this type is a promise between 2 “people”, in that the other half of the partnership is God. That this is a covenant or a promise made between a young person and his or her God.

The types of promise rings described are not exclusive. Diamond promise rings can be exchanged really for any reason. However it is very important, firstly, that both people understand exactly the nature of what is being promised. If possible write it down so there can be no misunderstandings. If it can be encapsulated in a short phrase why not get it inscribed on the ring?

And why diamond promise rings, rather than other types of promise rings?

Just because diamonds are the best. Nothing beats a diamond for a ring.

And because they aren’t cheap, so the mere fact that you’ve both made a promise that you are prepared to cement by the serious commitment of spending money means that it is very important to you. A cheap ring really doesn’t mean so much.

So why not display to the world the seriousness of your promise by the wearing of a diamond promise ring? There’s no better way to make a commitment to each other until the time is right.

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“5 Relationship-Wrecking Mistakes” — Mistake 4 Cup Stuffing

In the past few articles, we′ve discussed the first 3 of the 5 most common communication mistakes: Case Building, Story Telling, and Message Assuming.

Case building is the first choice we are faced with in communication. It is deciding whether we want to build a case against somebody by gathering evidence to be used against them, or whether we want to build a connection with them.

Story telling is when we tell ourselves a story about an observation — and then believe it. We see our lover come to bed with flannel pajamas on, decide they must not want to be intimate (and no longer find us attractive) and then begin pouting about it without ever checking out the reality.

The third mistake is Message Assuming - that is, assuming that the person we are talking to actually understands our message in the way that we intended. Or that we understood theirs. We talk and talk, trying to explain ourselves, yet never check that the other person understands us.

The fourth mistake is Cup Stuffing. This is trying to get somebody to listen or do something for you when they are already in overwhelm - their cup is full with all the challenges of the day. The baby is crying, dinner has to be cooked, the kids need your help, and the boss is calling from work–and now you want me to listen to your problems?

When people are in need of empathy themselves (empathy is the process of listening, understanding and feeding back what they heard) they are unable to hear what we are saying. It’s not until we give them some empathy for their feelings and needs that they will be able to hear us.

Paul and I run into this a lot when I get home from school. We both have full cups from our busy days and if one of us tries to stuff more into the other’s cup - stuffing things like problems that crept up in the software, emotional upsets with co-workers or students - then we end up with two very snitty and unhappy people.

The answer? Learning to give empathy to the other before unloading our own issues.mAnd how does one do this? Through the Language of Peace. The Language of Peace is the process of giving and receiving empathy.

The Language of Peace, based on Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication has four distinct steps that help people connect in a heart-felt process:

- state the observation, “When you saw the trash still in the kitchen after asking 3 times…”

- then find the feeling by ask, “Were you feeling frustrated…?”

- then find the need …”because you’re needing some cooperation and support?”

- then ending by making a request. The most useful request is to ask, “Would you mind telling me what you heard me say?”

That way you’ll know if you really understood what was going on for them… and sometimes… just saying the words that connect their feelings and needs can be incredibly soothing to the person receiving empathy.

Here’s an assignment: the next time you get together with your beloved, a friend, or somebody in your family, ask them…

“Tell me what has been making your life less than wonderful these days?”

Then follow the steps of the Language of Peace.

It would sound like this: “So, when you loaned your sister the money to get her car fixed and she spent it on a new skirt, were you feeling a little frustrated and disappointed because you have a need for honesty and for the safety of the people you love?”

Not understanding these mistakes can cost you the love of the people most important to you. We’ve worked with parents who haven’t talked to their grown kids for years over a misunderstanding - siblings who no longer talk after a disagreement - and of course divorcees… whose relationships didn’t need to end, but who didn’t have the communication tools to make it through.

This is not just a ‘little report’. This an opening to a communication process that can help you avoid some of the most painful, intimacy-destroying, relationship-wrecking communication mistakes around (I know… I′ve tried all of them!)

I realize that even with my great and wonderful teaching skills it will take more than one read-through to really make these skills your own. Read this several times. Print it out, read it out loud with your spouse before going to bed, and when you wake up. Take it on your vacation to remind yourself what you really want from your relationship and what you want to avoid….

If you would like more information on how to identify and avoid any of the 5 relationship-wrecking mistakes, you get more information at our web-site, including audio interviews that take you step-by-step through the process.

Good luck on your grand adventure. We would love to hear your success stories on how you applied these communication principles.

Kristin Denton & Paul Sterling teach Relationship Communication Skills — Live Seminars or Tele-Classes including ‘4 Steps To Instant Intimacy & Understanding’- ‘5 Relationship-Wrecking Mistakes’– To get a free copy of ‘The 5 Mistakes Report’ go to magicRelationship.com/freeaccess magicRelationship.com/freeaccess

Sex During Menstruation

We all know that men fantasize about sex most of the day, some even fancy having sex while their woman is on their period. Now you may be thinking whether this is safe of not?

What if I was to tell you that it was perfectly safe to have sex during your partner’s menstrual cycle? Let me reword that, it is about as safe as can be expected. Blood can carry certain infections that can easily multiply, so you may want to consider that before starting. You must make sure that neither you nor your partner are suffering from any sexually transmitted diseases, for example the chances of catching HIV is sky high in these situations. If you or your partner are not suffering from any STD’s, please go ahead and have an enjoyably messy time.

I would suggest letting your partner relax for the first few days of her menstrual cycle, after the first two to three days you can tell her that you want to have some fun. If she agrees then you should both go and have fun.

Before you begin the act you should probably spread some dark colored towels on your bed, you can enjoy any position you want but it is best to always be on top. Your partner should use a diaphragm or menstrual cup as this will help to keep the blood in for a while.

Other risks that your partner may be exposed to are pelvic infections, she can also become pregnant. Its rare, but it really can happen.

So, enjoy but please stay safe.

Sexxguides.info Sexxguides.info provides its readers with sexual advice on a range of issues including common sex problems, foreplay and intercourse.

Learn how to make your woman scream with pleasure!!

Wedding Planning - Advise, Budget, Organization

So you’re engaged, now it’s time to go on with the wedding planning. It can be a huge project costing a lot of money. What are you going to do?

Step one, no hyperventilating. Take a few deep breaths into a paper bag and remind yourself that you’ve got months, maybe even years before the wedding. You also have a lot of relatives giving advice on dates, florists and reception halls. While this may be annoying, these relatives are actually a valuable resource. Try redirecting their advice with specific questions asking what it was about their weddings they liked best and most importantly what it is that nearly ruined them. I once knew a woman who spent a lot of money on her wedding but neglected to keep the liquor in a guarded location. At the end of the wedding reception some staff stole several cases of unwatched, unused alcohol that she had to pay the caterer for. It’s the little things we forget that can upturn a carefully planned event.

Step two; decide just how much you and your soon-to-be spouse are willing to pay for this event. There are ways to cut costs. Outdoor receptions bring people back to the beauty of nature without the high cost of reception halls, but be careful not to schedule on a day when it’s likely to rain. It might be helpful to look up specific dates in almanacs detailing the weather for previous years.

Step three; organize, organize, organize. Set up a timeline of major events that you need to have accomplished before the wedding day. That way if something is running behind a few months early you can adjust your schedule. Creating a down to the minute timeline for the day of the wedding is important too. As it can help prevent last second mix-ups.

Mrs. Party… Gail Leino is the internet’s leading authority on selecting the best possible partysupplieshut.com party supplies, using proper etiquette and manners while also teaching organizational skills and fun facts. wedding-favors-etc.com Wedding Favors in many fun styles to help complete your event.

How to Dump Your Boyfriend

“There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.” Not sure how to break up with your boyfriend? Breaking up made easy. Coco Swan gives you 3 break up tips based on his personality type.

So it’s time to call it a day. How do you go about giving your boyfriend the dreaded news that you don’t want to see him anymore? Breaking up with someone is never easy. While you have already made up your mind, often for the other the news is coming like a bolt out of the blue. The best way to break up is to determine his personality type and then follow this break up advice.

1: Mr Ego (I’m too sexy). At first, you couldn’t believe your luck at snagging this hot guy. All your friends were jealous of you dating this Adonis. He even has beautiful manners and is polite to your parents. However, now you have come to realize that those drop dead gorgeous looks come at a price and that this guy is Mr High Maintenance. He has more visits to the beauty counter than you, and visits the hair stylist on a regular basis to maintain that trendy do. His life really revolves around himself and his image. Deep down, he’s really superficial.
The send off: The best way to dump this walking mirror is straight up. Tell him you don’t like doing what he does and that you have different interests. Fundamentally, you don’t think you have anything in common, except perhaps for product. Not only will you be fare welling this shallow creature but you may decrease the size of his ego as well.

2: Mr Nice Guy (Get a life). This guy has been the perfect boyfriend. He sends you flowers, watches chick flicks happily, accompanies you to the mall willingly, and even likes your friends. His mantra is “anything you want to do is fine with me”. Now you are getting tired of him not having a mind of his own and feeling a bit like you want your own space. There is no challenge in this relationship. Don’t just keep dating this guy because he is too nice to hurt, or you will just end up not being able to stand him. This won’t make you the world’s nicest girlfriend.
The send off: Breaking up with this too nice guy can be really hard. He is so nice that you don’t want to hurt his feelings. You can’t just say to him “you are so nice you are making me sick”. You have to break up with this guy gently. Whatever you do, don’t say “it’s not you, it’s me”. This guy deserves better than that. You could try a line like “you deserve someone better than me” or “it’s not a good time for me to have a boyfriend” or ‘I really like you, but the chemistry just isn’t right”. Whatever you say, try to be kind but firm. This sort of personality can make a great guy pal so try to convert him into a platonic friend.

3: Mr Insecure (Mr Needy). Initially, you thought he was the one. You fell for each other hard. He was perfect. He was your soul mate. You were sooo in love with each other. Utterly smitten. He was totally besotted with you to start with. Everything was perfect. Now, you have noticed you spend all your time with him and you can’t remember the last time you saw your friends. Your soul mate is not being quite so affectionate with you and has started getting a bit terse as well. Lately, he has even started saying he is the best thing you are ever going to get. This guy’s method of operation is to lure you in and then have you so dependant on him that you are frightened to leave him. He has removed you from everyone else to isolate you. This guy is terribly insecure and it is time to break up before he totally does your head in. If you stick with this guy, pretty soon he will have you believing that you are lucky that even he tolerates you.
The send off: Treat this guy with kid gloves when you break up. This guy is most likely to put on an Oscar winning performance of tears and remorse. He will promise to change. He won’t. The best way to deal with him is to tell him you are not ready for such a level of commitment. Ignore his pleading. Don’t give him a second chance because the relationship will only deteriorate further.

Other classic kiss offs: If you can’t determine his personality, or none seem appropriate, you can always try one of these well used lines to dump him.
“I want to get married and have your babies.” Guaranteed to never see him again.
“I have decided I prefer girls.” Drastic statement that works well.
“My family disapproves and will disown me if I continue to see you.” Really?
“I have met someone else.” Even if you haven’t, this is very final sounding.

Be strong. Steel yourself. You have decided it’s time to break up. Use these break up tips to your advantage. Now go find a better boyfriend!

Farewell, Coco Swan.

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Unique Wedding Cake Ideas

A traditional wedding calls for a church venue or romantic location, a white gown for her and a black tux for him, attendants, a bouquet, and a cake. All of these factors can be rather generic, or an imaginative bride can stamp her personality on the whole affair with just a few small adjustments. An especially fun way to tweak tradition is to be creative with the cake. There are truly as many possibilities there are brides.

Why not try a cupcake wedding cake? This option provides the yummy cake that people expect, but can be versatile in flavors, colors, and design. Most bakers these days offer this option. It’s no longer a brand new idea, but is still an unexpected twist on the traditional cake.

Another unusual cake alternative is a doughnut cake. This is a collection of doughnuts, individually frosted, all one flavor or a variety of flavors, arranged in a festive manner to suggest a cake. People think this is fun, and it’s totally unexpected. Plus, some people really prefer doughnuts to cake.

A romantic choice that not many people think of is to build the cake around a small water fountain. The trickling water sounds and the added light make a beautiful presentation that guests will talk about for years.

Cakes don’t have to be white with buttercream frosting. Virtually any flavor is possible, from white to chocolate, pumpkin to cheesecake, red velvet to carrot. It’s certainly acceptable to vary the flavors from one layer to the next. Frosting, too, can be any color, and can complement the season, the bridesmaids’ dresses, or the flavor of the cake. White or ivory is still standard, but any color the bride can imagine can be created by a good pastry chef. Imagine a dark frosting with a profusion of brilliantly colored flowers or leaves scattered all around the cake. Color can add drama, whimsy, texture, and interest to the cake.

Wedding cakes are typically round, stacked units that get smaller toward the top. Just because they’ve usually been this way doesn’t mean they have to, however. Cakes can be made in any shape and stacked, staggered, or spread out however the bride wants it. A baker can even stack the layers so they look like they’re leaning and about to topple. Cakes can be made to look like wrapped presents, buildings, people or animals, trees, flowers, or any of hundreds of shapes and structures.

When it comes to unique wedding cake designs, a bride and groom should brainstorm all the fun ideas they can, sit down with a willing pastry chef, then wait for the oohs and ahs from impressed guests.

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Wedding Superstitions

How does that saying go? “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and silver sixpence in her shoe.” It is a credo believed to carry good luck dating back to the Victorian era and many folks, brides especially, try to arrange their wedding attire accordingly.

* Something old: Something old represents the link with the bride’s family and many brides choose to wear a piece of antique family jewelry, her mother’s or grandmother’s wedding gown.

* Something new: This is to symbolize good fortune and success for the future of the couple. The wedding gown is often chosen as the new item.

* Something borrowed: Something borrowed is to remind the bride that friends and family will be there for her when help is needed. The borrowed object means something such as a lace handkerchief.

* Something blue: The color blue is meant here to symbolize the loyalty and fidelity of the couple. Often the item is the garter.

* Silver sixpence in her shoe: A Silver Sixpence in her Shoe is to wish the bride wealth. But frankly, if you are willing to go through your entire wedding with a coin in your shoe, well that’s just crazy :)

The bride’s bouquet at its inception formed part of the wreaths worn by both the bride and groom. It was a symbol of happiness. Today the practice of tossing the bouquet is an off shoot of throwing the garter. Single women compete to catch the bride’s bouquet because according to superstition the one to make the catch will be married next.

The wedding tradition of throwing the garter began in France when pieces of the bride were considered lucky. The bride would throw the garter to those attending the wedding and whoever caught it could expect good luck. In some states, the groom traditionally removes the garter from the bride and throws it to the unmarried men. The man who catches it is thought to be the next to marry. As the wedding ceremony progress, the excitement level of all increases.

* Catching the garter: Men compete to catch the brides garter as the groom tosses it up in the air.

* Garter game: At some weddings the man who catches the garter places it on the leg of the lady who caught the bouquet or they have the next dance.

These superstitious wedding games have become part of the wedding tradition today. It is believed that by participating you are bestowing upon the couple good fortune.

A century ago, wedding superstitions were even more deeply rooted.

* Marrying a man whose surname began with the same letter was thought to be unlucky.

* Marrying on Friday the 13th cursed your wedding from the start.

* Brides who choose to be married in December were thought to be the wisest woman because she surely would be marrying her true love.

The desire for a marriage to last is strong, and consequently weddings are particularly vulnerable to superstitious beliefs that can supposedly affect it. My thoughts? Try not to take any of them seriously, there are so many superstitions to follow it can drive you crazy! And of course there’s the whole “superstition” aspect. You do know that it’s all made-up, right? That it’s not going to have any bearing on your marriage or wedding day at all, right? Good. I’ve got to go get the penny out of my shoe now. Good luck!

Alex consults for a gift shop offering giftsandotherwise.com/ wedding party gifts and giftsandotherwise.com/shop/bridesmaids-gifts–gifts-for-her-c-249.html bridesmaids gifts. Alex is recently married.

The American Geisha Must Be Selective: How to choose a man

No matter how you’ve met a man, the first thing you want to do is try to ascertain whether he has the potential to be a Good Man for you. If he seems to have that potential, you certainly would be open to seeing him further. If he seems not to have that potential, it is best not to see him further, unless seeing him further would open good social networking opportunities for you.

Remember always to be frank and honest and nonmanipulative and kind to the men you encounter while dating. Don’t lead on an inappropriate man once you realize he is not a candidate for a longer-term relationship with you.

You must also choose carefully from among the men you attract. You waste time dating a man who has little or no potential to be a Good Man for you. Not only that, but your image may suffer from dating inappropriate men, perhaps discouraging other men from getting to know you, possibly including a man who may have been right for you.

Let’s say that a man you meet at a bookstore coffee shop asks you out for dinner. According to whether or not he seems to have some Good Man potential, you could answer him in one of several ways.

If you judge quickly (or after a forty-five-minute chat) that there is either no potential or so little potential that you do not want to invest any further time, you want to discourage him. You might respond, “Thank you, that’s sweet of you. But I can’t.” If he persists (which he probably won’t), say truthfully, “I’m just not available right now. It’s been nice to meet and to talk with you.” Do not touch him and do not be your most fun, likable self. After all, you want to discourage him.

Py Kim Conant, the author of Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House Publishers. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at AmericanGeishaHouse.com AmericanGeishaHouse.com

The Sign of a Cheating Husband

It is one of the most difficult things that any woman will have to go through, the possibility that there is some infidelity in their marriage. No woman ever goes into their marriage thinking that they are going to end in divorce, yet, for all too many marriages, they end just this way. If you think that you are being victimized by a husband that is not being faithful then the pain of wondering can be more than the pain of knowing for sure. At least that way you could have some closure. The sign of a cheating husband, or signs, are usually pretty much the same from case to case. In fact, it’s almost spooky how many husbands leave the same trail. If you want to know for sure if your husband is cheating then here are some ways to find out.

The first thing that most women notice is that the personalities of their husbands will be changing, usually slowly, but noticeably. If you start to see changes in the way your husband is dressing, or perhaps the types of music he is listening to this could be a sign that his personality is taking on that of the other woman. Many men show more attention to their wives as the affair begins, typically to cover over the guilt, and then stop showing any attention at all. Another thing that is common practice is for the cheating husband to become overly protective of his cell phone and perhaps his computer usage. These are common points of contact for the cheating relationship, so they make them off limits to their wives. If you are able to get his cell phone, or cell phone records you might be able to see who he is calling, and who is calling him.

If you suspect that your significant other is cheating on you there are ways that you can find out. You can know for sure by following the trail that they leave behind. For more information and a special report visit our website at faithful-check.info/ faithful-check.info/

For your faithful-check.info/ special report on catching your cheating spouse visit our website today.

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