“Where To Begin” A Song About Starting Over and FINDing YOURSELF After D-i-v-o-r-c-e

No one ever imagines when they say those vows that mean FOREVER that it might one day end. There are so many reasons to hang on, but once those feelings of enchantment dwindle to a little heap that you cannot define, it is hard to get it back. I wrote another song, “It Smells Like Silence”, which is posted on Ezine Articles, about someone else and their divorce, how pitiful their breakup became. I never imagined how much I would relate one day. Divorce comes slowly though. You find yourself in a shopping mall feeling more alone then you remembered the year before. Colors don′t shine as brightly and there is no reason to pick roses, make bouquets and set them on the table. It is like having a wounded bird in a box, wild birds rarely recover no matter how much you attend to them.

“Where to Begin’

a song:

Complex emotions
tight fisted seas
turn around
be found
in a circle of hostilities.
Up in the air
no one cares
be free.. to be
anywhere.

I can′t tell you all that you need to know to do
but I can tell you that the road goes through.
I can tell you what I mean
from my soul.
I can tell you
and you need to know…

So I can breath… again.

I fell in… to where to begin.
I fell in… to start again.

I need to breath… again.

Hand me those pages of notes
that I’ve told you.
Tell me the story.. though old.
I fell in
to the path overgrown
I fell in
to where to begin.

I need to breath… again.

About the Author:

Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
Hawaii, United States

Aloha! I am a figurative artist and Illustrator. If you check out my website you will see that I am very prolific in oils. My paintings are collected worldwide. I also do sculpture images available upon request. I have illustrated for Hay House Inc. , Neil Davidson, who was considered for the Pulitzer Prize in feature writing, and several other publications. I also enjoy story writing and poetry. All of the paintings,stories and poems on my blogs and website are written by me.

Check out my website kathysart.com kathysart.com or one of my blogs at: kathysart.blogspot.com/ kathysart.blogspot.com/

Thinking Twice Before Marrying Your Russian Bride

Russian women are romantic and loving, but before starting a long term relationship with her be aware of the fact that you have a long way to go. Making her your Russian bride is a challenge, but one that is worth it. It may take a while before you reach her heart, and through that time you need to be careful not only with her traditions and language, but also with her personal values such as honesty and pride.

Russians are considered to be warm and easy going people, and Russian women are no exception to this. Russian brides are desired because of their natural charm, charisma, and the culture in which they enjoy so much. Many of these future Russian brides understand that marriage is a perfect solution for them, and most of them are completely ready for it, not only because they want to fall in love, but for practical reasons as well.

Russian women are quite emotional by nature, and these women are looking for an exact match, but at the same time they know that love is not everything. To fulfill all their dreams, they are not only looking for a romantic relationship with a man, but they want more such as a large house, security, and to support their lifestyle without any complications.

People who are looking for a Russian bride should keep in mind that the Russian people in general are proud and Russian women in particular have a high self-esteem. Men who want to share their life with a special woman from Russia should know that it will not be easy to adapt to the new habits they need to form to get through their daily life. Women who are ready to leave their family and start a new life with a man who is basically a stranger to them, also have requirements and sometimes they are more than what was expected.

However, these requirements can be lessened, and any misunderstandings can eventually be eliminated. It takes honesty from the man looking for a Russian bride, and the ability share not only the good characteristics of his personality as well as the ones that later could be problematic for the relationship.

Finding the right foreign bride might sound easy, but at the same time the above mentioned requirements of both sides of the relationship might cause difficulties down the road. Before taking the step towards marriage, any many who is dreaming of a fantastic easy going Russian woman should invest some time doing research about what they are really like. Their local traditions are important, as is the language they speak.

The barrier regarding the different languages can be overcome by taking lessons in Russian, and you can also study the customs to try to understand the psychology of the Russian women. This prevents the cultural shock that you may experience as the relationship progresses. The result not only gives you knowledge about the Russian woman, but it also takes a little pressure off of them to fulfill your idealized dream of a Russian bride which may affect them negatively.

If your time is valuable, you can always hire a matchmaker, or agency that specializes in the field of foreign marriages. They are the people that are knowledgeable of the traditions and can help you with some of the legal barriers that may arise. They will also give you good advice about the etiquette that is important when you meet the family of your Russian bride.

Just listen to your heart. Make sure you have true feelings toward your Russian bride, and be sure that she is having these same feelings, and not just using you as a way to ensure herself a good life.

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Decorating the Wedding

Guests didn’t come just to look at the bride and groom. While it’s the couple who are the center of attention, guests do come to view the whole shebang from the flowers adorning the church to the silverware and the patterns of the table napkins in the reception. Guests with a good eye for detail (and a taste for the elegant and the beautiful) are quick to notice unmatched table napkins and boring wedding souvenirs.

Wedding decorations are the centerpieces of the ceremony. They also define the mood and atmosphere of the setting. It is, after all, these small details that complete the whole picture, whether it’s a church or a garden wedding, or even a beach ceremony.

Where to decorate

Church weddings require more elaborate decorations, while outdoor ceremonies are more casual and airy. In any case, take note of these special spots at the wedding ceremony which needs decorating.

Wedding decorations on the entrance or the doorway (or arches and tents for outdoor weddings) are the first details your guests will notice. Decorations for the entrance should be light in detail and should not obstruct entry.

And then of course, there’s the altar. Traditional weddings in cathedrals are more ornate with heavy swaths of lace and flowers framing the altar. Garden weddings require just a table and a small centerpiece, and thus, are easier to decorate.

Pews and chairs are another matter. Modern weddings go for a simple arrangement of flowers on the pews and chairs, sans the lace and the tulle that seem to take up the entire church and aisle. Others who’d like to save up and be more practical go for the pew bows a simple bow arrangement of ribbons and lace that are not only good decorations in the church, but can also be moved to the reception as table and pillar decorations as well.

In the reception, it’s the tables and the wedding cake that need the details. Table wedding decorations can range from a simple arrangement of daisies and baby’s breath to candles and small lamps. And then, of course, there’s the wedding cake. Now, this is something that the couple can decide on whether they′d go for the traditional man and woman figurine or go for doves or flowers or something else.

Something to Remember

It’s all about the theme. When choosing your wedding decorations, think of the big picture and the kind of atmosphere you want your wedding to have. Is it the classical, fairy-tale affair? Or is it a minimalist, simplistic ceremony? Is it a winter wedding? How about if it’s an autumn or a spring ceremony? Or what about an Indian ceremony? Traditional weddings would mean embroidered table napkins, a three-tiered wedding cake, and tiny wineglasses for souvenirs. Simple ceremonies require less detail. Today, not everything in the whole wedding ceremony has to match. They just have to complement each other. Table napkins need not have matching embroidered designs with the plates; the table flower decorations need not be the same with the bride’s bouquet.

Think T-I-M-E. Unless you’re planning on a quickie wedding in Las Vegas (where everything’s ready for youfrom the ring and the bridal bouquet to the church decorations), you’re running against time from the planning to the decorating, up to the time you take down those decorations. Planning ahead on your table napkins to your table centerpieces will help you save time and money. It’s usually the reception area where much decorating needs to be done, and where every detail needs to be polished the souvenirs, the design for the wedding cake, the tables and chairs, the dining ware.

With a clear idea of your wedding’s theme or motif, you can opt to start shopping for those decorations and souvenirs at wholesale prices. Others buy the stuff in bulk and assemble them on their own, especially if they want a more personal touch. Still, others suggest buying during the ‘off season’, when prices are still relatively low due to a relatively low demand.

It’s your wedding, it’s your choice. Your wedding decorations may be trivial details, not something you’d like to lose sleep over. But again, these details are the small things that add color to the wedding picture the wedding cake design, those pretty bows adorning the church pews, the wedding souvenirs and others more that you’d like to add to your picture-perfect moment.

Thanks for reading! For more fresh and pratical tips and information on wedding.inforevealed.info/ wedding, visit my site at wedding.inforevealed.info/ Wedding.InfoRevealed.info

Masturbation Addiction - Overcome it Today

They say that it’s natural… Nearly everyone does it… It’s completely normal…

These statements could well be true; however, what if you become addicted to masturbation and what if it affects your friendships, relationships or even your confidence. If you have let masturbation take over and you have become addicted to it, then you will really understand just how negative the situation can be for you. Masturbation addiction is no laughing matter, especially if you have fallen victim to it. The sufferer can be a slave to their sometimes, compulsive masturbation habit. If you feel that you are addicted to masturbation and you are serious about overcoming it and taking control, read on…

The technique of masturbation is as old as the hills. It is said to be a completely natural habit, however when it gets out of control, then it can be a really un-natural habit to have. Masturbation addiction is one of the most personal of all additions to have and something that you may well find really hard speaking to other people about. The addiction can leave you feeling drained and tired, due to compulsive masturbation and can even give you an empty feeling and a low self-esteem. Some studies have shown that it can even add to premature ejaculation in men and sexual desensitisation in women. This type of negative impact on anyone’s sex life is bad news.

In order to beat this unwelcome addiction it is important to tackle it at the source. The source being your sub-conscious mind! The sub-conscious mind is an excellent piece of machinery that controls all of your unconscious motions, movements, thoughts and beliefs. It is the part of you, that makes you – YOU! Your sub-conscious mind also creates and drives habits – habits like masturbation addiction. There is only one real and viable way to tackle this part of your mind with absolute precision. This way is called hypnosis and hypnotherapy! Don’t worry, it is a lot simpler than it first seems and you will be able to overcome your addiction in no time at all.

Utilising the benefits of hypnosis and self hypnosis you will get this unwanted addiction out of your life for good. Hypnosis is simple to use if you use the right approach. I recommend that you do one of two things. First you could try going to see your local hypnotherapist, or secondly, you could try a hypnosis download for masturbation addiction and overcome this in the comfort of your own home.

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The Wonderful Appeal Of Hawaii Destination Weddings

It is certainly easy to see why Hawaii destination weddings are among the most consistently popular, and why invitations to attend these destination weddings are among the most coveted.

Whether you are planning your own wedding or the wedding of a friend or family member, you could certainly do worse than getting married on the beaches of Hawaii.

Hiring A Wedding Planner Or Consultant

In fact Hawaii destination weddings are so incredibly popular that there are entire companies dedicated to booking these great destination weddings and making them come off without a hitch.

If you are so inclined, you can hire a wedding consultant who specializes in Hawaii destination weddings, and he or she will take care of every detail, from the largest to the minutest.

The wedding planner can take care of booking the hotel or resort, booking the flights, renting the reception hall, catering the food, ordering the wedding cake, ordering the flowers and even sending out the invitations.

Planning Your Hawaii Destination Wedding Yourself

Of course it is not necessary to hire a wedding planner to have a perfect Hawaii destination wedding.

In fact many brides can and do plan their own Hawaii destination weddings, but it is important to remember that there is plenty of work involved in planning such a wedding.

It is by no means impossible to plan your own Hawaii destination weddings but it is important to start planning as early as possible, perhaps as soon as your fiancé has popped the question.

Ask the Important Questions To Ensure That Nothing Is Forgotten On Your Wedding Day

When choosing a proper resort for the wedding, it is important to ask plenty of questions, and to determine if the management of the resort has sufficient experience in planning Hawaii destination weddings.

It is also important to find out what aspects of the wedding they will be taking care of, and which parts will still be your responsibility.

For instance, some resorts will take care of every aspect of the wedding, from the cake and the caterer to the invitations, while others will provide only the setting for the wedding and perhaps the food. When it comes to Hawaii destination weddings, it is vital to determine who is responsible for what, and to plan accordingly.

Shaunta Pleasant is a professional writer and editor on wedding topics. Visit my site to learn more about planning the perfect wedding at
best-wedding-plan.com/hawaii_destination_weddings.html best-wedding-plan.com/hawaii_destination_weddings.html

How to Find a Cheating Spouse Investigator

There are a lot of reasons to hire a cheating spouse investigator in which alot of people know so we will not go into that in this article. What we need to focus on is how to go about tracking down a cheating spouse investigator, and actually hiring them to spy on your cheating spouse to prove for sure that they are committing adultery.The main ways of actually finding an investigator is through connections that you have, the phone book ie.yellow pages, or a newspapers. These venues will help you to contact a cheating spouse investigator in no time, but there is still a problem. You might ask yourself “How do I choose which one to go to?”, and “Once I have chosen one, where do I go from here?”.

The first step is to write down the problems that you have been having with the cheating spouse. Then you want to write down where they work, where they eat at (like restaraunts), where they go to the gym at, and so on. Basically you want to know their routine so that way the cheating spouse investigator knows where to look for your spouse. These things are essential because otherwise it would be like the cheating spouse investigator is trying to hunt down a missing person.

Second you want to make sure you have enough money to hire a cheating spouse investigator. It does get costly at times. You want to make sure that for one, you have enough money like say at least $1,000.00. You might not need that much, but it is better to be safe than sorry in the long run. For the second reason it is because you want to make sure that this is worth the money. If you have little to go on like for example, your husband or wife comes home late one night. Well that is not efficient enough to rule out that your spouse is cheating. The spouse has to have an ongoing routine where it makes you believe that he , or she is cheating on you.

Once you have followed the first two steps you are ready to hunt down, and to hire the cheating spouse investigator. This is the hardest part to do because you not only have to find a good one, but one that fits your budget also. The first place you should look for a investigator is your local newspaper. Why not look in the phone book first you ask? The reason why you should look in the newspaper first is because you can find more independent cheating spouse investigators there, and also ones that are cheaper. Usually the runs that are in companies request that you pay more rather than paying less like you would to someone that works for themselves.

Once you have looked in the newspaper, if you have not found someone yet, then you need to turn to the phone book. You would go under the yellow pages, and look up the word Investigators. There should be a list in that section that you can look through. If you have to, call each investigator you find before deciding. That way you can not only get the best cheating spouse investigator in your town, but you can get the one that cost you less money.

Attracting Girls: The Real Body Language Secrets

To attract women, you have to control your body language.
While all the body language books out there mainly give you
advice about your posture, you need to know specific
techniques that will make you attractive to women.

You see, when my friends and I first started out studying
this, we would go out to the clubs and other social places
and stand upright, following all the rules of good posture.
After a while, standing looking like a “stiff soldier” you
begin to see how there has to be more to attracting women
than good posture.

In fact, I remember one particular time when I was standing
completely straight in a nightclub, having a good time,
enjoying all the alpha vibes I was giving off, and this girl
who was dancing nearby came up to me and then stood up
straight just like me, smiled and said that it felt good
being there beside me because I was just like her bodyguard.

Now I don’t know how you would have taken that statement but
at the time it was very clear to me that I was looking
slightly ridiculous, like a military robot. This is also due
to the fact that I’m quite tall, six feet three inches to be
precise. Right after that episode I resolved to change the
“robotic” stance and posture in the future. And that was
when we started to develop the concept of body language
specifically for attracting women.

Say you′re in a nightclub. First your positioning of where
you stand is important. I mean the actual location within
the place. DO NOT stand at the edge of the dance-floor with
drink in hand, with no smile on your face looking longingly
at the girls having fun and dancing. Most women avoid you
like the plague because you look like you have “low social
status.” And women are not attracted to men with low social
value.

Stand by the wall or pillar or against a “not too rowdy”
part of the drinks bar in an easily visible section of the
club, basically where there is like a wall or barrier behind
you. You could be there with your friends. Hold your drink
at waist level not chest level and by your side and not
straight in front of you.

And here comes the part that seems counter to what good
posture would suggest. I would usually lean my back against
the wall or barrier in a relaxed, almost slouched position.
Notice I am not standing up straight here. In fact, I’m so
laid back that if the wall wasn′t behind me I’d certainly
fall. And in most cases, I’d have a slight arrogant smirk on
my face from time to time.

What signal or impression does this visual imagery say about
my character? That I’m super confident, I’m so relaxed
leaning against the barrier behind that I’m treating the
club like my own home. I look like what you′d expect the
owner of the club to be like if he was in the place. I have
very high social value and I’m a leader of my peers because
my friends are all around me while I casually look around
the club.

Result? Any girl walking by with her friends who happen to
spot me, (and believe me girls do look at guys in clubs but
they’re so discreet about it you wouldn’t know), will find
me instantly and subconsciously a man of high social value
compared to all the guys standing on the edge of the dance
floor looking hungry and desperate for women.

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5 Tips To First Date Success

Over the years I have had many clients frustrated in dating, especially the dreaded first date. I′m always slightly surprised by this as I loved dating when I was single, especially blind dates. I even met my husband on a blind date, his first and last. I loved the possibilities, the adventure and, of course, I have a wicked sense of humor, so any so-called-bad date was always worth a good story.

Dating doesn’t have to be an exercise in torture. Ok, sure for some of us, talking to a box of rocks is easy, but for others, a different scenario. For some, the thought of engaging in intimate conversation with a virtual stranger can induce stuttering and immediate brain cramping. I have come to believe in five basic rules for the first date; they have served me and clients very well…

1. Decide what you are looking for before you go out on the date. Are you looking for a boyfriend/husband or a fling? Be honest with yourself. If you really want a boyfriend/husband, decide before you put your big toe out the door what you want in a mate (i.e. humor, kindness, job security, honesty…) Write down 5-10 things that are important to you. This gives you a framework and clarity to make empowered decisions.

2. Be willing to cut bait early. Relax, this is not the last person on earth. There will be other dates if this one does not work out. Don’t settle for someone who just isn’t right.

3. Believe what he says. If he says he doesn’t want a serious relationship, he’s not a good at relationships or anything of the like, guess what? He’s telling you the truth. Red flags should be signaling you away from this disaster in waiting. Run far away from this person. No second date.

4. Like him as is. Don’t think, “Well, if he changed his job, or if this or that was different, I would like him.” Again, I go back to, do not settle. There are so many people looking for love — strive for an abundant life with your most perfect love. You deserve your best life.

5. I call this rule is the two nevers. Never kiss on the first date and never call him after the first date. He calls you. Reality is, we all like a chase. If he doesn’t call, well, it just means he didn’t call. Don’t take it personally. Sometimes the sparks just aren’t there or maybe he has an ex that really isn’t out of the picture or maybe the timing is off. It doesn’t matter. I promise that you do not want to start your relationship feeling like your chasing him. I had a girlfriend that would chase guy after guy away because she had to call him right away. She came off desperate – not attractive. She did not have a lot of second dates.

It is my belief the single most attractive quality a person can have is self-worth. If you believe yourself worthy of a beautiful life, a beautiful love, you will not settle for “less-than.” By knowing your worth and having clarity about what you want, you become a more confident person. Confidence is incredibly sexy and not surprisingly, the more confident you become, the more people will be calling you for dates!

Kelly Ballard is an Intuitive Guide and Healer specializing in helping others discover positive solutions for immediate change/growth in their lives through private sessions and guided meditations. Find out more information about her services and meditation CDs at kellyballard.com. kellyballard.com. Contact her directly at 720-984-4232 or email mailto:kelly@kellyballard.com kelly@kellyballard.com. She lives in Boulder, CO.

Attract a Special Man’s Interest

“Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.”
–Oprah Winfrey

The holiday season is fast approaching. If you′re like too many single women, you may dread the coming flurry of social events because you don’t relish being a third wheel among a sea of seemingly happy couples.

That’s a mistake. When you feel less-than-fantastic about yourself, you give off a vibe, and it’s not attractive. Stop perceiving yourself a social liability. Recast yourself as the star you are: the exciting, confident, just-happens-to-be-available woman everyone wants to know.

How?

Start by writing a list of your good qualities. Bring to mind the compliments you’ve received about your sense of humor, your great taste in clothes, your ability to analyze P/L ratios, or your gift for cooking. Whatever! Jot down the ones that resonate the most with you. Tape the list to your bathroom mirror and read it every morning when you brush your teeth.

If you remind yourself frequently of the things that make you special, you will begin to believe that you are special. And once you get that, everybody else will get it, too. Then watch out!

Don’t go into debt, but do buy yourself a couple of items that will make you feel spectacular, perhaps a glittery pair of earrings (every store from Saks to Target is flooded with great costume pieces), a velvet shawl, or a strappy pair of shoes.

A week before the Christmas party or Thanksgiving dinner, start visualizing how you want the event to go for you. Feel it. See it. Smell it. Hear it. Taste it. Remember, what you think about, you bring about. Write the word “Visualize” on your to-do list. Visualizing circumstances as you want them will be critical to your success.

Will you meet the man of your dreams this holiday season?

It’s definitely a possibility. One woman met her husband at a family Thanksgiving dinner, after he’d been invited by her brother to stop in for dessert. Another woman attended a wedding unescorted. She ended up meeting the future COO of a major Wall Street financial firm there. Three children later (along with a house in Greenwich, a house in Amagansett, and a helicopter to zip back and forth), they’re still happily married.

But perhaps you won’t meet a guy. Perhaps you’ll meet somebody who knows a man who′d die to meet a woman like you, or maybe you’ll just get practice in feeling great about yourself.

Remember, people who feel great about themselves tend to attract people who feel great about them, too.

Embrace the season!

Terry MacDonald is the happily married author of “How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams.” Sign up for free dating tips at marrysmart.com www.marrysmart.com . Check out her blog at happygirlmusing.blogspot.com happygirlmusing.blogspot.com

Emotionally Intelligent Relationships: Part 2 - The 6 Steps to Conflict in Relationships

Ask yourself, why can’t I experience an Emotionally Intelligent Relationship? The answer can be summed up with one simple word – Reactivity. In order to create an EIR, you must understand The 6 Steps to Conflict in Relationships.

Allow me to explain. All of us have emotional wounds that can originate from four different sources. Emotional wounds are the aftermath of painful relationship experiences where your needs went unmet, feelings were invalidated, or emotional pain was somehow inflicted on you.

When an event occurs, your mind tends to interpret the event as a positive or negative experience. A negative experience can be anything from a parent minimizing or invalidating, peers teasing or ridiculing, or a boss telling you are incompetent, to a partner being unfaithful or inflicting emotional/physical abuse. Sound familiar? Unfortunately, these types of events set the stage for emotional wounds.

After these type of experiences, your mind begins a self-dialogue that creates fear. The fear presents itself in a number of ways – feeling insecure, unworthy, unlovable, threatened by abandonment, a desire for control, or mistrust. Fear leads to sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and pain that go hand in hand with emotional wounds.

If your fears become too intense, they can lead your mind to create the twin pillars of distorted perspectives and unrealistic expectations. The twin pillars skew your view of reality and blur the lines between past pain and present reality. Thus, you view events through the foggy lens of fear.

When an everyday issue, situation, or problem arises that does not match the distorted perspective or unrealistic expectation, it acts as an “emotional trigger”and activates the associated fear from the emotional wound. Triggers lead to emotional reactivity through a release of negative energy. It is this reactivity that causes most of the problems in relationships and leads you to behave in an emotionally unintelligent manner.

The intensity of the reactions is directly correlated to the severity of the wound and the intensity of the associated fears. Reactivity comes in two forms. People either react inwardly by withdrawing or outwardly by exploding and lashing out at others. Common forms of inward reactivity include avoidance, silence, and isolation. Conversely, typical forms of outward reactivity include yelling, tantrums, name-calling, and throwing or breaking objects.

I call negative reactive behaviors Relationship Killers. They include the following (and many other forms) of words, actions, and behaviors:

Mocking, Blaming, Justifying, Accusing, Ridiculing, Invalidating, Criticizing, Minimizing, Angry Outbursts, Spiteful verbal darts, Excessive nit-picking,
Selfish demands, Disrespectful judgments, Emotional Withdrawal and Disengagement
Condescending attitudes, Threatening Verbal/ Physical Behavior

Reactivity is the release of negative energy associated with emotional wounds and fears. Reactivity does not define who you are as a person. Unfortunately, because of the hurtful words, actions and behaviors associated with reactivity, it can begin to define the manner in which people perceive, respond to, and treat you.

An unfortunate consequence of your reactivity frequently occurs when individuals treat you in a manner that reaffirms your wounds and perpetuates your fear. It is similar to the Law of Attraction - you receive what you send out. If you project negative energy onto your partner through emotional reactivity, it is likely your partner will view you and treat you in ways that validate your fears, actions, and behaviors. This vicious cycle will not be broken until you understand The 6 Steps to Conflict in Relationships and learn to act in an emotionally intelligent manner. However, help is on the way, and change is entirely possible!

Read Part 3 – Emotionally Intelligent Relationships: How do I get one?

©2007 – All rights reserved – Glenn Cohen –
“I-TO-WE”™ Relationship Coaching / www.i-to-we-relationship-coaching.com

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