Dream Ultra

Yesterday, after receiving a massage to help ease my
computer-aided muscle tension, I was described as an
over-achiever. That got me thinking about value-laden language
and what it really means.

These kinds of labels can sneak into our thinking very quickly.

So what is an over-achiever anyway, or an under-achiever for
that matter? (or overweight, underweight, overemotional.. etc).
They are a subjective description described as a fact (because
if you are over or under something it must be measurable,
right?).

What it means is not that you have achieved too much, too
little, or spent too much time at the computer (although, I
agree that I should sit with a better posture), but that the
person who said the comment has a different interpretation of
what it means to be an achiever.

Someone who always looks to others for approval must feel like
a yoyo. Who could ever keep up with the expectations of
everyone else? What one person considers too much, another
person may consider too little, so how can you keep everyone
happy?

I don′t believe you can. But I used to believe I could - and
not only did it not work, but I made myself unhappy in the
process.

These days, I think the best way to interpret other people’s
comments is that when they say ‘You are too…’ or ‘You are
a…’ they actually mean ‘I prefer to…’. For example, if
someone says ‘You are over-emotional′ they most likely mean ‘I
prefer to share fewer emotions’. Or if someone says ‘You are
over-excited’ they probably mean ‘I prefer not to get so
excited’.

Now you might be thinking that someone you know really is ‘too
selfish’ or ‘too uncaring’ and that they should change. But
really, you just prefer to be more giving or more caring, and
your behaviour towards that person is your own responsibility.

So next time someone comments on your behaviour, treat it like
a game. Rather than feeling like you have to change yourself or
that you have not been approved, rephrase their sentences in
the ‘I prefer…’ model. And if you find yourself accidentally
imposing your values on others, make some effort to speak more
clearly about what you prefer for yourself. You will enjoy much
better communication as a result!

(C) Copyright Petra Rankin 2005

Petra Rankin used powerful techniques to beat her own long-term
depression. She is now dedicated to teaching others how to be
happier and lead more successful lives. Her first book

1. Take her somewhere that you go often - You’ll give yourself a lot of credibility and value if you take her to place where everyone knows you. Stop and chat with the staff there. Learn their names and make sure they know yours. It only says good things about you. If you don’t have a place like this yet, make one.

2. Take her to an interesting restaurant – It’s a lot more fun to go eat sushi or some type of authentic ethnic food than just going to a more common restaurant. You don’t want it too be so interesting that there’s always something crazy going on and you can’t talk to her. Just make sure it is a little different.

3. Relax – The more you relax and show that you’re comfortable, the more your date will relax. If you feel like you’re getting nervous or tense, just take a deep breath, relax your shoulder muscles and smile. Just focus on having a good time.

4. Get rid of your expectations – So many guys that I meet wrap expectations around everything they do. They think, “buying dinner = she’s going to be my girlfriend or wife.” If you just spend the time that you’re together having a good time, acting like you would around someone you already know well and show that you couldn’t care less if anything happens between the two of you, you’ll have a much better chance of progressing things than if you act like she’s the first girl you’ve seen in twenty years, acting really nervous and so dumb that she runs away.

5. Don’t talk about normal boring topics or “guy topics” – If you want to be like every other boring guy out there, talk about what job she has, where she has gone to or goes to college. Only talk about guy topics like sports, lifting weights or something like that if SHE is already very interested in them. Also, don’t cling to a topic like it’s the only thing you can talk about. If a conversation dies, let it go.

6. Have a story or two that you can tell if you run out of things to say – One of the best ways to keep a conversation going is to have a few stories that you can tell at any time. When the conversation stops, just say, “Anyway,” and go into a story. The story doesn’t have to be something too amazing, just a little bit different.

Tell a story about a date that you went on where your date did something embarrassing or funny. Women love to talk about relationships and I’ve found that they are the easiest to come up with. If you’re having problems, just grab a girly magazine and read it for 15 minutes. You should find more than enough things to talk about in there.

7. Know a little bit about a lot of things – You can ask me about almost anything and I probably know enough about it to talk for at least 5 minutes. The more you know about, the easier it will be to hold conversations on just about any topic.

8. If your date wants to talk, listen to her – People like to talk and get the feeling that what they have to say is important. This doesn’t mean that you should ask her endless questions trying to get her to talk. If she’s not talking, feel free to. But, don’t interrupt her if she is.

9. Don’t try to impress your date – One of the worst things a guy can do is talk about how much money he has, what kind of a car he drives or anything else that comes across as trying hard to impress. If you do have a cool house or car, let her find out when she sees it. And if she isn’t impressed by it, don’t be surprised. You’re much better off by just being a relaxed, fun, cool guy than you are trying to impress her.

10. Have a plan – You should have your date planned in advance. And although you should have it planned, you should also be flexible. If something comes up that could be a lot of fun, don’t be so rigid that you can’t change plans. Your plan should be more of a guideline so that you always have something to do.

Matt Buschbacher teaches men all across the world how to meet and date women. He offers books, audio programs, seminars and workshops where he takes people into social venues and teaches them how to meet women. Visit his site at datethewomenofyourdreams.com/ datethewomenofyourdreams.com/ and download a free sample of his book as well as get other great information about women and dating that will cut years off of your learning process.

There are many signs that a woman gives when she is inviting you to come meet her. The more that you go out and involve yourself around women, the more you will be able to pick up on these signs. The most obvious sign is eye contact. Do you two make eye contact and does she smile? Are you two making eye contact more than once?

These are obvious signs of invitation. If you are making eye contact with her, make sure you don’t overdue it with a stare. The last thing you want to do is scare her off. Glances long enough to show her you noticed her are all it takes. It also helps to smile. You want her to know that she single-handedly brightened up your mood. Women want you to make the first move and she will indirectly challenge your confidence. If you wait too long or wait for her to make the first move, you will probably fail the test.

When speaking to a woman, it helps to smile, make eye contact and have an upright posture. In addition to this, one very good tip written by a women named Tiffany Taylor (female author on dating tips for men), suggests gesticulating with open palms. She states, “I’ve gone into in-depth studies of body language and this one is a good one to use in MANY circumstances. I’ve adapted it here after solid testing to picking up women however, some people suggest that when combined with a few other verbal and non-verbal techniques it can even give you a 50/50 chance of getting out of speeding fines!

Anyway, basically, when you are talking to a woman and trying to make a point (that puts you in a positive light) or defend yourself (for example, a girl suggests you might be a player) you talk and using your hands you have open palms facing upwards. Keep your arms in front of your body with your palms facing the sky and smile as you talk. It works VERY well on a subconscious level to suggest you are being honest and telling the truth. And if you want a woman to begin to trust you, making her think you are being straight with her, is important. This open palm gesticulation MUST be combined with a smile to work effectively.”

If you want to get off on the right track, she must feel comfortable when talking to you. Also, you don’t want to approach her from behind. Make sure you approach her from the side or front. This will prevent you from surprising her, a definite no-no! In addition, you don’t want to put her on the defense. A woman, with any confidence, will want to be on the offense. It shows that they are comfortable with you. If she continually is on the defense, you may want to decide to move on.

One thing I’ve noticed is that quick wits win every time. One time I approached these two women and I caught them in mid sentence when one of them mentioned the word “weirdo”. I could have assumed they were talking about me and let my confidence sink, but instead I took the approach with confidence. The first thing I said was “I haven’t said one word to you and already you’re calling me a weirdo?” The conversation started off well because it was something witty and it made her laugh. She could have been talking about me, but it didn’t matter because of how I said it and my overall confidence in approaching her. Of course I didn’t say it with any kind of anger. I said it in a way that put me on the defense so she would have nowhere to go but on the offense.

If you are able to incorporate these techniques when approaching women, you will be someone that she can feel comfortable talking to. The more comfortable she is with talking to you, the better your chances are of bonding with her! This is where everything starts!

thealphaguy.com thealphaguy.com - Tips on dating, flirting and what women really want. TheAlphaGuy.com is a site for men to help address what women want, approaching women, and having ultimate confidence with women.

© Internet Play, Inc. (2006)
William Edwards is the Writing Host at TheAlphaGuy.com
thealphaguy.com thealphaguy.com thealphaguy.com
and Publisher of - What She Wants and How To Keep Her Attention

Many men think that gaining rapport skills with women is something that either you have or don′t have, and can not be taught. However just like may other seduction skills that where once thought of as “intuitive″ can now be taught resulting in a dramatic enhancement of your rapport skills.

Some of the benefits of using rapport skills to attract women:

Get along better with and influence beautiful womenRecognize when you are losing rapport with attractive women and take the necessary steps to regain it before it is entirely lostIncrease your chances of success with women early in the conversationAttractive women will gain a stronger sense of how much you careGain confidence in your own abilities to attract women

Some people will tell you that to use rapport skills to attract women is manipulative and deceptive. Yet, the truth is you can’t not communicate or influence attractive women. It is not whether you influence women, but how you influence. All men that have any type of success with women achieve it by consciously, reliably and systematically using their skill with attractive women. Some of the consequences of not using rapport skills to attract women:

Significantly decreasing your chances of success with women as a wholeYou can only connect with a limited range of womenContinuing to talk to women even when there is no connection there and all chance is lostMany women will not trust youConfidence in your abilities to attract women will decrease

Most men can do a very effective job of establishing and maintaining rapport with some women, most with average women and in situations they are familiar and comfortable with. By consciously learning rapport skills you will also be able to use those skills with attractive women and in situations with these attractive women that are uncomfortable, unfamiliar or challenging in some other way.

Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men who has a daily newsletter that provides you with a wealth of information on how to be more successful with women. You can sign up for the Teddy Shabba dating-advice-coach.info/datingadvicenewsletter.htm Dating Advice Newsletter for Men now.

Also with over 500 articles from a variety of dating experts just for men our dating-advice-coach.info/DatingandSeductionArticles.htm Dating Advice and Seduction Article Database is the perfect place for any man.

To learn more about How To Attract Women visit our article section dating-advice-coach.info/attractwomen.htm Attract Women Today

Women love to know that they have your full attention.

Pay attention to the small clues that tell you what sort of mood she is in, what kind of a day she has had, how she is feeling. This is all valuable information that gives you vital clues as to how to safely approach her.

If you can get good quality rapport with her even before you open your mouth, you will be in control of the situation.

You can rapport (read ‘tune into’) a woman:

- physically (by subtly mirroring posture, movements, facial expression, breathing)
- tonally (by subtly adjusting your voice)
- linguistically (by adjusting your vocabulary)

All of which, if done well, leads to emotional rapport - which gives her the feeling that you understand her.

Women don’t date men they don’t trust. Learn to get rapport quickly and smoothly and you will gain the trust of everyone you meet.

In my book, I give you the equivalent of a big chunk of expensive NLP training on this subject - at no extra cost!

If you want to have the self-confidence to approach any woman you choose and the self-esteem to brush off the occasional rejection without a second thought, take a few minutes to visit my web site.

Scott Holland is the author of “How to Overcome Shyness and Find the Woman of Your Dreams”. See dreamwoman.co.uk dreamwoman.co.uk for details and free download: Six Myths About Women and Sex - and why they are all wrong!

Singles face many struggles in their pursuit of finding happiness with the right person.

Do you know the biggest fears of singles? Read on to discover these two fears and what to do about them.

An Interview with Relationship Coach Frankie Doiron

I recently had the privilege of interviewing Toronto Relationship Coach Frankie Doiron on my Relationship Radio Show on Radio Sandy Springs in Atlanta.

According to Frankie, the two biggest fears for singles are the fear of rejection and the fear of relationship failure. These fears make more sense when we consider that relationships get at the heart of all of us, where we are the most vulnerable.

The road map through these two fears requires

1. The acceptance of your self, with the knowledge that the right person for you will accept you as you are, warts and all. This avoids the marketing trap that so many singles fall into, where you act like someone you are not just to attract someone to you.

2. Being clear on what you need in a relationship and not settling for anything less. This step requires doing the work to know who you are, what you want, and how to get it.

The Really Good News

The really good news is that when you consistently do the two steps above, you can move past the fear of rejection and the fear of relationship failure.

In fact, the best thing said on the show today was Frankie’s words

“When you look at dating and relationships from this perspective there is no reason to fear rejection and failure in relationships.”

You can listen to the rest of my interview with Frankie Doiron at JeffsRelationshipRadioShow.com JeffsRelationshipRadioShow.com as well as download podcasts of this and other shows at JeffsRelationshipRadioShowPodcasts.com JeffsRelationshipRadioShowPodcasts.com

Your best friend’s wedding is coming up and you have to buy a gift. You don’t really want to get them a blender or a vacuum cleaner or a set of dishes. You could just give them money, but that seems so impersonal, albeit useful. What do you do to find a truly unique wedding gift that will stand out from the throngs of average and mundane gifts that seem to populate weddings? A wedding gift should be something that is useful to the new couple as well as thoughtful. The first step to buying any wedding gift should be to check the store where the couple is registered, if they are at all. This will tell you what has already been purchased and what they still need. To be truly unique, however, your gift will be something that no one else will even consider getting them. Food processors and sets of towels are out of the question. Your unique wedding gift will be something astounding, amazing, and thoughtful. But what will it be? Here are some things that are perfectly appropriate as wedding gifts but are not often given. Any of them will be sure to speak to the couple and say that you cared enough to give something very different.

Artwork

A very unique wedding gift, artwork is something for the couple’s new home together but can also be very personal. This is an option that should be seriously considered before being purchased, because art is very subjective. Something that you love could be something they hate. This is also the type of gift that you need to be prepared to spend some money on. An oil painting from the local gallery blowout for ten bucks is not going to cut it. Artwork as a wedding gift should be an artist’s original and that will cost a few hundred dollars at the very least. If the couple has a favorite classical artist, however, a lower cost option could be a framed print of one of that artist’s works.

Gift Certificates

A gift certificate can be a very thoughtful and unique wedding gift, as long as what the certificate is for is something thoughtful and unique. You don’t want a simple department store gift certificate here. Find a gift that can be something tailored to suit the personalities of the couple. Are they the active, outdoors type? Try a gift certificate good for a camping trip in a national park. Maybe they are extreme sports freaks? If so a gift certificate for skydiving lessons or parasailing may be the perfect thing.

These are just a couple of examples of the special and unique wedding gifts you can come up with if you just put your mind to it. With a little bit of creativity and thoughtfulness, you can give a wedding gift that will stand out from all the others and put all the blender buyers and gravy boat givers to shame.

Your Wedding Helper
4whiteweddings.com 4whiteweddings.com

Guys what happens to you when you see a pretty girl that you feel could be the one for you. Do you chock and not approach this girl. Do you feel that you’re not in this girl’s league or that maybe you don’t have what she’s looking for? Or maybe you’re just afraid of rejection. And just can bear another kick in the face. Well guy’s I’ll let you in on a little secret. Your not alone, you and nine out of ten guys in this world feel the same way.

Do you feel it would be so much easier to meet or even talk to a woman if maybe they had a sign on them that could tell you what they are looking for in a guy, or even if their looking for a guy at all. Well guess what? Almost all women out in this world today do where a sign that will let you know these things. You just have to know how to read those signs and forget about being afraid of making that step.

As a guy I too had these same types of dilemmas that ninety percent of all men deal with. That is how do I make the first move or even what would be a good way to even make this move or approach this woman that I am interested in. Will she shoot me down or will she take an interest in me, and what I’m talking about or have to say. Will she want to get to know me and give me the chance to show her that I’m not a bad guy?

Believe me I know how much effort and energy goes into the first approach. I have had my fair share of rejection and disappointments when it came to trying to meet that special person or just wanting to have some female companionship. I used to go to the same bar on every weekend for a year or so. I would see the same girls all the time there. I would try to talk to them and they would want nothing to do with me. I could not for the life of me figure out why? I mean I’m not a bad looking guy. I had a good job so what gives.

One day I was in this bar I frequented quit often just sitting there milking my drink like I always did, and boom in walks this guy. He was just an average guy not great looking or anything like that. I watched this guy approach the very same girls that I approached, and I was dismayed at the type of response he got from these girls. These girls where actually taken by this guy. I sat there just getting really angry about this. I watched this go on for a couple two three weeks. I literally watched this guy approach different women with almost the same response from every one of them. This guy was only shoot down twice that I seen, and it really didn’t look like the type of rejection that I was used to.

I made it a point to get to know this guy. Believe me I put a lot of effort into befriending this person because I had to know just what his secret was. To make a long story short I got to know Dave, and he did tell me his secret. Turns out he had the same problem I was dealing with up until he came across this lesson guide he called it. This lesson guide was nothing more then a small book that was about how to pick up women. The book was about the little signs to look for. Things like if there are four women sitting together which one of the four to approach first to get the door open. Along with other simple things like how to read the signs those women carry, and how to approach a woman so they don’t feel like it’s a come on or fell threatened.

I got this little book and was amazed at the simple little things that I never paid attention to before. Things that if I would have known before I would have had a lot less doors slammed in my face. I have a lot of women friends now, and before I was married they where always trying to hook me up with there hot girl friends. It’s true what they say about knowledge is power.

Robert Emler: All I can say is if it wasn’t for the knowledge I got from this little book I would have never of met my wife. I probably would have signed up on every one of those types of web sites that are out there for meeting that special someone. Who knows how that turns out. If you would like this little book that I was turned onto go to this site and look for the link HOW TO GET THE HOT CHICKS. stopprejac.com stopprejac.com

Picking a place for a first date can be a difficult task, when in fact, it should not be. If he doesn’t have time and you don’t have any clue what to do for the first date, take a look at the following list. This list will also let you focus on the more important things such as dress, conversation, and appearance. Also keep the atmosphere informal. You don’t need the added pressure of a stuffy and pretentious environment. It just may give you some good ideas to take that special someone.

1. You and your date could go to your favorite small restaurant, tapas bar or diner and have a cocktail or coffee drink. I know it sounds typical to go to a bar or coffee shop, but you can always use either one of those two places as a last resort. Keep this date to less than thirty minutes.

2. If you don’t want to try something like those places, I recommend a cozy lounge with nice ambiance. Try someplace where the music isn’t too loud. Try to be comfortable. Make is short evening. You don’t have to stay the entire evening if you don’t want. I recommend you keep this date a maximum of an hour.

3. Art galleries are great places to visit on a first date, if and only if, he can hold a conversation based on art, literature, and/or culture. The art gives you something more to talk about then basic first date conversation.

4. I went on a first date to a comedy club. I think this is a great idea. It helps keep the atmosphere fun and light. Some comedy clubs you are able to drink and eat during the show. The only con to this date is that you won’t be able to really get to know one another unless you go for a drink somewhere after that.

5. My favorite types of first dates are sports activities, tennis particularly. It involves physical stamina. You can challenge your date while staying in shape. The only con is that you will not be able to talk much. But after a good tennis game, you will both work up an appetite, which in most cases would lead to appetizers and dinner. If you don’t want to play tennis, then try bowling. It leaves room for small talk, drinks, and food.

6. Or you can be a kid again and head to play a round or two of miniature golf. It’s a cheap and easy sport to play. When he realizes that you have no idea what you are doing, it will allow him to show you how to putter from behind. I always recommend this for a portion of the first date.

Rather than depending solely on this list, go pick up a Zagat’s food guide or a local food guide and start to pick some places that look interesting. When your date mentions a place that you haven’t been to, at least you will have an idea what’s in store.

Author, Kristin Marquet, wrote this article. It is available on loverelationshipsandmore.com loverelationshipsandmore.com. Kristin Marquet is the author of “How Can a Woman Survive Dating in a World Full of Players, Losers, Liars, Scumbags, and Mama’s Boys? A Single Women’s Guide to Online Dating in a World full of…” and “The Ultimate Women’s Guide to Modern Dating.” These e-books are available for sale on loverelationshipsandmore.com loverelationshipsandmore.com. She is also the president of Brilliant Mode Publications.

A wedding planner works mostly by appointment. The bride, groom and mother of the bride may spend five hours meeting with a wedding planner and may contract services totaling 40 hours. The total time depends on what you, the Bride and family, want them, the wedding planner, to do.

For example, you may have asked your wedding planner to handle only some of
the services needed for the wedding, such as only the reception. Or you may have asked your wedding planner to be involved in the selection and purchase of the bridal gown. In another instance you may have asked your wedding planner to coordinate all the events of the wedding day itself, a process that takes significantly more hours. Each client’s needs are different.
Wedding planners do much of their work by contract and as needed, use their phone, and a car continuously and or vehicle that can transport and deliver a wide array of wedding supplies. Wedding planners spend a great deal of their time working inside and outside their office.

They often are asked to shop with clients or for them, check decorations, and look at sites of weddings and receptions. Many couples marry in parks, hotels, and homes, as well as in churches. The consultant will constantly review each potential
wedding site to ensure facilities meet their client expectations.
The wedding and all its different aspects need to happen perfectly.
If you want to know more – just ask you’re wedding planner. You’ll be happily surprised by how down-right helpful they can be.

This article courtesy of weddingsrfun.com weddingsrfun.com.
You may freely reprint this article on your website or in
your newsletter provided this courtesy notice and the author
name and URL remain intact. Copyright Tom Downward of weddingsrfun.com weddingsrfun.com