“To be or not to be, that is the question…”
There’s an interesting thing in writing. They say
it’s much better to show ideas than it is to tell
them.
That is, don’t write “It was a scary dark night.”
Write, “Clouds covered the last vestiges of the
waning moon, and a chill frost rose through the
air. A heavy fog set on the ground obscured his
feet, and the only sight to be seen were the
wisps of his breath rising in front of the
blackened landscape.”
The first example is a (written) verbalization
that it’s dark and scary. But you don’t get a
dark and scary vibe from it.
The second never verbalizes it’s dark and scary.
Instead, it demonstrates simply by being dark and
scary.
This is a key part of your interactions with
women. You want to demonstrate good things about
yourself all the time. You can demonstrate good
things about yourself through things like
Storytelling, displaying humor, displaying
intelligence. Being seen with another woman.
Having one woman over to your place and she
thinks she smells perfume, but isn’t quite sure.
Being busy and having a life. One girl notices
other girls calling you, sees you with other
girls who are “just friends″. Things like this
demonstrate good things about you, that you’re a
strong capable guy.
On the other hand, it’s universally bad to
demonstrate you’re clumsy, displaying a lack of
intelligence and/or social intelligence, being
cowardly, etc. Showing that you are extremely
timid, seeing no one else wants you and that you
have no chance with other girls, you’re going
nowhere in life…
Now here’s the kicker. Dark stormy night kicker.
When you Verbalize, say, that you’re something
good, you’re often demonstrating the opposite.
“I’m really smart. I went to an Ivy League
school.”
“I drive a really nice car.”
“I’m busy on Monday and Tuesday with important
stuff, let’s get together on Wednesday for two
hours.”
“I am seeing a lot of other women right now.”
“All girls want me.”
“I make / year.”
“I′m a cool guy.”
“I’m really good at sex.”
“I’m really deep.”
“I look really sexy.”
These are all TERRIBLE verbalizations. But
they’re not bad qualities to demonstrate.
Let her see that you′re busy and interesting,
intelligent, deep. Act like a good lover and a
desirable man. The kind of people that say “All
girls want me″ in a serious tone come across
insecure.
But here’s the crazy thing. You can jokingly
sprinkle in little bad things about that aren′t
true.
“I’m shy.” “Girls don’t really like me.”
If comments like that are obviously untrue, and
said with a slight smile, she’ll think you’re
kidding around. Verbalizing Low value.
They must be obviously untrue. If you actually
are shy, doesn′t verbalize that you’re shy. Just
don′t bring it up.
You can also say comments that seem very
dependent on her.
“Baby, you’re like the moon and the stars and the
sun for me. Without you, there′d be no me.”
This is something you can verbalize if you′re a
cool, busy guy with a life. If you do that,
she’ll feel good. On the other hand, if you
actually do demonstrate you′re dependent on her,
you want to stay away from this.
It’s the difference between what you say and what
you mean. What you’re telling and showing.
Don’t say, “I′m a cool guy that’s a good lover.”
Demonstrate it.
Sebastian Drake has been writing in the fields of Seduction, Diplomacy, and Leadership for the past five years. In the past two years, he has won praise and accolodates for his oustanding and effective coaching on live programs, workshops, and seminars. He is a cofounder of theApproach: The Science of Social Chemistry for the Modern Gentleman, bringing profound lifestyle changes to any man’s social, romantic, and sex life.
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