What’s a Goldfish Doing at a Wedding?

Time was when you’d open a wedding invitation you’d find an understated high quality piece of parchment, with an uncompromisingly clear font, requesting, ever so formally, the honour of your presence.

Then came radical changes, described by those in the know as, giving the wedding back to the people. The creation of the ubiquitous Civil Marriage Celebrant – and anything goes era.

Stealthily at first came sneaking on to the front page of the invitation miniscule wedding bells, intertwining wedding rings and peaceful doves with their wings folded as if wondering what the heck they were doing there.

Traditionalists – and those too poor to follow the trend – cried out against this bad taste. Nor were they wrong to fear the full thrust of indulgence to come. Invitations, masquerading as old time scrolls, and delivered by Knights right from King Arthur’s court, began to appear at suburban doors. Following the Knights came Wizards from Ali Baba’s enchanted cave.

There is no saying where all this would end, when the PC was born and stemmed the tide.

Overnight, so it seems, the excesses transformed themselves into cottage industry, and the traditionalists who had howled at the excess engendered by the coming of the Civil Marriage Celebrant could only stare in horror at the shambles created by the advent of the PC and its companion, the Bubble Jet printer.

Out the window went the parchment and the honour of your presence. Taking it’s place was a piece of brown recycled paper, with some unrecognizable font, proclaiming cheerily, “Jim and I are getting married, come and have some fun with us next Sunday.”

“Fun?” my husband of 40 odd years snorted. “They’re getting married to have fun?” Being something of an etymologist (fancier of words for the rest of us) he began to thumb the well-worn dictionary to find out what fun meant and when he’d had it last. But that’s another story.

Getting back to the invitations, and the appearance of computers, the wedding bells and the hearts and rings and flowers were given a swift shrift. Instead we puzzled at wedding invitations covered with cats, dogs, butterflies and yes, the latest one, two gold fish.

There they were on the envelope, swimming demurely side by side on the sea of white, while the invitation itself was awash with them. It took an hour, plus a strong magnifying glass before I could decipher the words.

Bring no gifts, was the first bit of welcome information I fished out of the jumble. We have everything we need. We have each other. Oh, the naiveté of infatuation! “But if you would like to bring a gift,” continued the missive, “please bring something for our goldfish.”

About the Author

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorised to perform marriages in Australia. She also perform general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about her as a celebrant and an author visit vlady at weddings-celebrant.com weddings-celebrant.com

The Changing Face of Change

Many people who know my daughter have asked me how she is handling life as a military spouse. My daughter has long been a planner and has not always responded well to an idea that required her to change her plans suddenly.

Three years ago she married a young man six days before he began his Air Force career. And since that time, her life has been full of many changes. Some expected. And some not.

This past fall was our son-in-law’s first deployment overseas at which time our daughter came home to stay with us. It was difficult not to have him home during the holidays, but we waited till he came back in late January to celebrate Christmas. And it was well worth the wait!

I admit at first it was hard to consider changing our traditional time of celebrating the season, but we wanted to save most of our festivities for our son-in-law’s return.

I think for many people, change is sometimes feared — even something to be resisted. Perhaps some see change as an indication they have no control over their lives, so they do everything they can to avoid change and feel like its victim when they face it.

Yet anyone who reads much of Mary Baker Eddy’s writings probably gets a view of change as normal and sometimes necessary. She frequently uses such phrases as “change your course” . . . “a change demanded″ . . . “change of heart″ . . . “change the human concept of life . . .” And following change, comes the promise of growth, healing and progress. She makes change sound desirable and positive, and not a bad thing after all.

Recently, I asked my daughter how she has adjusted to military life — with its sometimes unexpected changes.

She said, “That was the hardest element for me, not being able to plan out the next few years of our lives. I think the uncertainty we face has caused me to become a more fluid person. I am better able to deal with change and have become more spontaneous.”

As her mom, it has been fun to witness this change in my daughter. She no longer sees change as some burdensome challenge she must face at times. I see in her a young woman who has embraced change as natural as life itself. And so she has grown into a poised officer’s wife while she also continues her own career goals.

Not long after our son-in-law returned to the states, we learned he could deploy again much sooner than initially planned. I asked them how they felt about this possible change to their schedule.

They said, “Deployments are hard and there is never a good time for your loved one to leave. We take it day by day, and just enjoy every moment we have together. In many ways we′re a stronger couple for it because we don’t waste time planning for things in the future. If we want to do something, no day is better than the present.”

They said that Eddy’s ideas on improving moments and making the most of the present have been powerful, healing ideas as they live their ever-changing life together.

I decided I needed to start examining my own heart to check for ways I may have become resistant to change. And the results have been rather surprising.

I’ve uncovered viewpoints that were stagnant and stubborn. I discovered some traditions and routines which were unreasonably rigid avoiding any inclination of change. I could see that I had become set in some old ways which were not conducive to growth. I wanted this to change — so, I’m working on being more spontaneous myself.

Turning to prayer for guidance and fresh inspiration is helping me be more open to the idea of infinite possibilities. I’m becoming more willing to explore and consider new ideas and opportunities. I’m calmer in situations that arise unexpectedly. And I’m happier.

Since change all too often leads to progress, I’ve concluded maybe all that’s needed is simply a change in how I view change.

Annette Bridges is a Religion & Spirituality columnist for United Press International and lives on a north Texas ranch with her husband, John. For the past 25 years, she has been a student of Christian Science, the method of healing explained in Mary Baker Eddy’s book, “Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures.” Visit her website at annettebridges.com annettebridges.com and send her an email at mailto:annettebridges@gmail.com annettebridges@gmail.com © copyright 2006 by Annette Bridges

Tips On Cutting Wedding Costs

The most important thing you must consider when planning a wedding is your budget. With the following cost cutting tips you can have a beautiful wedding without going into debt.

1. Create your own invitations

With a little practice you can create professional looking invitations. Buy high quality blank invitation forms. Make sure to use a typeface that is formal, crisp and easy to read for professional-looking results.

2. Gowns

Save money on your Wedding gown and Bridesmaid dresses by shopping at a bridal discount outlets. If alterations are necessary, take the dresses to a local seamstress. If you need a bridal gown slip, rent it rather than buy it.

3. Limit your attendants to Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man. You will save money on clothing, gifts, and food costs at the rehearsal dinner.

4. Get married in the morning: afternoon and evening weddings are more expensive.

5. For an indoor wedding consider having your reception at a restaurant. Most charge less than a hotel or country club. Plus restaurants do not charge room fees like many facilities.

6. Consider having your reception at a park or public garden rather than an expensive hall. Most public parks are free or charge a small fee.

7. Cut Reception Food Costs

Limit the number of guests to those you really want there. (Remember caterer’s charge per person).

Forego the multi-course dinner in favor of a brunch, luncheon, a dessert reception, or even a cocktail party.

8. Cut Bar Reception Costs

Serve only beer, wine, and soft drinks. Do not offer mixed drinks. By eliminating mixed drinks you may be able to cut your bar bill in half.

Consider offering a full bar for the first hour or two and then switch to a cash bar. Do not have waiters/waitresses serve the guest drinks. If a people have to actually go get their own drinks, they will probably drink less, therefore saving you money.

9. Party Favors

You can save hundreds of dollars by eliminating the party favors. If you absolutely want favors, why not make your own? How about buying bags of Hershey kisses and wrapping a few into a small piece of organza cloth and tying it with a cute ribbon.

Forego the printed napkins and matches to save even more money. Also, do you really need a gold embossed guest book? Probably not! Why not purchase a nice guest book at your local stationery store.

10. Wedding Cake

Wedding cakes can be very expensive. To save money on your cake contact a nearby college that offers cooking classes for referrals. A recent Graduate can make you a gorgeous cake a lot cheaper than a professional baker.

To really save money on your cake you could consider using a display cake (A dummy Styrofoam cake) for the display table. A display cake will look exactly like a real cake and your guests would never know the difference. Since you do not have a real cake your caterer can serve guests slices of sheet cake which costs a fraction of the cost of wedding cake.

11. Music

Hire a DJ rather than a live band. If you want live music, visit the music department at your local college for referrals. There are many talented music students who would gladly play at your wedding.

12. Flowers

Why not make your own bouquet? Buy a pretty bouquet of flowers or pick wild flowers and tie them together with wire. Then wrap the wire with a pretty ribbon. (Hint: Roses are not good flowers for bouquets as they fall apart rather easily).

If you want to purchase a professional bouquet, remember to always use flowers in season to save money.

Rather than purchase expensive boutonnieres for the men, why not pin a single flower to the jacket lapel.

13. Table Displays

You do not need expensive flower table displays for your reception. Why not put pretty flowers in a small vase on each table. All the vases do not have to match. In fact, it can look striking if you use a different vase and flower on each table.

Rather than flowers, decorate each table with candles. Here are some tips:

Buy some candles and tie ribbons around them then slip a single flower inside the ribbon. Keep the ribbon long and let it cascade down to the table. Put a couple of floating candles in a clear glass bowl along with a few fresh flower heads. You can buy a plant like a Chrysanthemum for a couple of dollars and cut the flowers off. Votive candles on top of a mirror makes a romantic centerpiece for an evening reception.14. Photographer Hiring a professional photographer/videographer is very expensive. Consider asking a photographer friend to do the honors (Perhaps as a wedding present).

If you want professional photos, consider hiring a photographer for the formal shots of your ceremony only. Then place disposable cameras on every table. Not only will your guests have fun, but you’ll get dozens of photographs as momentos at very little cost

Jasmine Macdonald is a wedding website designer. For a FREE TRIAL OFFER please visit fun.createswebsites.com fun.createswebsites.com or windsor.weddingwindow.com windsor.weddingwindow.com.

You can visit her daily wedding blog at funweddings.blogspot.com funweddings.blogspot.com for free wedding advice and tips.

Bad Sex

Unless you are a virgin, you know you have had it, “BAD SEX”! No matter the stud you proclaim to be or the lying wench who claims all her sexual encounters were “orgasmic”, guess what? We know you are lying, for everyone at least once in their life has had an encounter with bad sex. Another thing I must add is that we women know men like to discuss their sexual encounters with other men, I must say, so do women, but while men are lying about their sexual encounters in locker rooms, we women are actually engaging in conversations about our sex lives and they are honest and far more explicit with the details.

We women “kiss and tell”, we even discuss penis size. We will talk about kissing techniques. We talk about the difference between “making love″ and “sex”. We talk about men who are awesome in bed and we laugh about the ones who aren’t. I have found that most women will cut men slack if they are inexperienced, we accept this as an excuse for not pleasuring properly.

The following is a list of things which I feel could turn a possible great sexual encounter bad.

Bad Hygiene. If you want to get it on with someone, please make sure you are clean. There is nothing more disgusting than a man who didn′t wipe his butt properly or contains the smell of sweat.

Please shave. Stubble is not sexy, in fact, it can be painful. Most women do not like the stubble in certain areas, it doesn’t take that long to shave gentlemen, as “Nike″ says, “JUST DO IT”!

Don’t talk dirty during the first sexual encounter. Some women enjoy this at one time or other, but give some time to figure out if this can be brought into the “sexual” game. Don’t assume she wants you to slap her butt and call you “Big Daddy”!

Don’t introduce sexual kinky crap during the first sexual encounter. Some women are deffinitely into this, but once again, unless you know she’s a “kink” right off the bat, don’t assume.

Don’t inform your potential mate of all your great sexual moves with your “ex″. This is a HUGE turnoff and makes it obvious that you have low sexual self esteem.

Don’t refrain from noises during sex. Would you like it if “she″ just laid there making no sounds? Enough said on that one.

Refrain from jamming fingers where they do not belong. If you are going to tread there, be gentle.

Don’t state how big your “manhood″ is. I’ve always wondered why men have stated this. Do they think we women are blind?

Don’t EVER take a phone call during sex. Unless you are a doctor on call or some other important job, this is a no-no.

Unless you have said “I love you″ outside the bedroom, do not say it in the bedroom. Don’t say it on the kitchen table or while getting it on in the floor in the hallway either.

Let’s face it, “Bad Sex″ sucks! There is no need for macho attitudes or gender wars during sex. This is one time where those particular wars can be sat aside and both genders can enjoy being a man or woman.

Motorcycle Pictures Wedding Invitations For The Bold Bride And Groom

So, you’re tired of the same old sayings, invitations and photos? You along with many other wedding couples want their wedding to stand apart from all others. They do not want to have the same old boring invitations, but rather something that signifies their personality. Many that have a love for motorcycles are turning to the motorcycle pictures wedding invitations.

It is clear to family and friends of those that have a love for the motorcycles. There are three different kinds of riders and all three of those classes have a different theory on their wedding as well. The three classes are the need for speed, bad boys/girls, nostalgia. Each and every class has a love for a similar hobby, but their perception is not the same. Therefore, their wedding and wedding invitation should match their perception and styles. Here we will look at the three type’s motorcycle riders and motorcycle pictures wedding invitations.

The need for speed, for many these is the true reason of the motorcycle. The crotch rockets are the true loves of their lives. The motorcycle is a symbol of a virile and manly man! That is the reason that there are those motorcycle pictures wedding invitations that cater to this need for speed. The colors are bold, the pictures bright and that wind blown look. These invitations are anything but traditional. Though the appearance is different they can still have the traditional writings or sayings. Or if you want to go all out with the unique concept you can have the printer incorporate your wording, poem or other saying into the invitation.

Ahh, the bad boys and girls, those images that most have when they think of the motorcycle club riding through their town. The leather, long hair and windblown look, and of course the motorcycles parked together, that you do not want to get to close to. That old movie scene comes rushing back. For the bride and groom that want to carry that “bad boy” theme there are plenty of designs to choose from. The bad boy motorcycle pictures wedding invitations are very popular. The rugged look and non-frilly wedding invitations have taken the world by storm. The guests that receive these in the mail will have the cant wait attitude for the actual upcoming wedding. Everyone likes a place to ride their motorcycle too!

Lastly, the nostalgic motorcyclist. They love the outdoors and history of the bikes. You can find these riders on a road trip with the two loves of their lives on the weekends. These motorcycle lovers love the history, photos of the older model bikes and the simple idea of motorcycle riding. There are motorcycle pictures wedding invitations to match this group as well. Many of the motorcycle wedding invitations will have a vintage bike on the front or other historical display. There are an abundance of items that can make this wedding invitation perfect!

No matter what type of motorcycle rider you are there is a motorcycle pictures wedding invitation that will enhance your special day. Motorcycles have played a vital role in your life and now you should incorporate them into that special union. Make that day very special and bring your second love with you. But, remember the wedding invitation starts the wedding so make sure to incorporate your motorcycle into the wedding invitation.

Tim Olden is a respected author offering advice and reviews of Handmade and Custom wedding invitations.


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Having Trouble Getting Along

It seems everywhere I look, everyone I meet and everything I read these days that more people in relationships are struggling with some behavior of their partner that they wish would just go away.

A friend asked me at lunch the other day, why do people get married anyway? I wanted to give a quick and glib answer but as I pondered the real meaning of this question I was struck by the difficulty of answering it.

Is it for love? Security? Passion? Friendship? Compassion? Insecurity? Un-met emotional needs? I don’t have a clue. I am guilty of looking for many of the above items in relationships. Sometimes I found them and sometimes I didn’t. What I have discovered is that whether I found them or not didn’t really change whether the relationship worked and lasted or failed. So there has to be something more.

Are people who have been married for 40, 50 or even 60 years and say that they are and have been blissfully happy all those years lying?

Is it possible to overcome all of the conditioning we received as children that can sabotage relationships?

Is it possible for people to take control of their mindsets that often cause much of the stress, anxiety, struggle and pain in relationships?

Is it possible for people to leave their ego’s out of their relationships?

Is it desirable to let someone else change who you are for the success of a successful relationship?

People are who they are. People are becoming who they will be. You, no one, has the right to tell me who I should be or how I should behave. If you don’t like me or my behavior then you can choose not to be with or around me.

But, you say, relationships require flexibility and compromise. I agree, but only to the extent that my self-esteem, self-image and self-acceptance are not lost in the process.

I’ll bet that if you look at many of the issues that cause stress or strife in your relationships that it will all come back to your expectations of your partner.

Why won’t they……….

Why do they……..

When are they going to start………

Why won’t they stop……….

This is not a female or a male issue, it is a human issue. For every male that has a legitimate problem with his partner’s nagging I’ll guarantee that the women as a legitimate issue with some of his behavior. So who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who cares!

Your issues with your partner are justifiable from your perspective. His issues with you are also reasonable.

So, what’s the answer? My suggestion is that you stop trying to fix, change, improve, modify your partner and start working on yourself. If you will both do that I will guarantee you can save a bunch of money in counseling fees, divorce fees and you may even live happily ever after.

However, if both of you can’t take some responsibility, if you insist in only pointing your finger elsewhere rather than looking in the mirror, It may be time to say good-bye.

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, Peace Of Mind, 81 Challenges Managers Face and Your First Year In Sales. He is also the CEO of ProfessionalSales Association Of America. He can be reached at mailto:tim@timconnor.com tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his websites at timconnor.com timconnor.com or ProfessionalSalesAssociationOfAmerica.com ProfessionalSalesAssociationOfAmerica.com

The Fine Art Of Appreciation And It’s Many Benefits

One of the best ways to keep relationships positive, regardless of whether with friends, relatives or business associates or customers is to shoe appreciation. Going out of your way often to tell people how much you appreciate what they have done, regardless of how unimportant or little it might have been, puts you in the minority of the human race. (unfortunately)

Here is a quick example.

Each year I give away between 1000 and 2000 books to relatives, friends, clients and strangers. In the last ten years that’s over 10,000 free books I have given away valued at between $15. And $20. These people have received a gift. Unsolicited yes, but a gift nonetheless. How many people do you think have said thank you in the past ten years? (either calls or notes) Less than 25.

I guarantee someone in your life has done something for you that they feel deserves a simple thank you or some small appreciation. Here are a few tips to consider:

1. Call at least one person a day and thank them for something.
2. Send out 5 thank you notes a week.
3. Don’t wait to show your appreciation. Do it now.
4. Do what you do for others without the expectation of appreciation. When you want something back that is not a gift but barter.
5. Send a special friend a surprise gift. (it doesn’t have to be expensive. It’s the thought that really counts.)

When you are appreciative, it makes other people feel like doing more for you, even though that was not your agenda. When you fail to show appreciation, it makes others feel like doing less or nothing for you.

I guarantee that someone in your life feels a word of appreciation would be in order. Can you guess who it might be? One way to ensure that people do not feel slighted by you is to develop an appreciative consciousness.

What have you got to lose. A simple thank you doesn’t cost anything and it can mean so much to people who have gone out of their way for you.

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, Peace Of Mind, 91 Challenges Managers Face Today and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at mailto:tim@timconnor.com tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at timconnor.com timconnor.com.

Know Your Man: Be Sexy

“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because, the average man can see better than he can think.” ~ Anon

Here is a typical complaint: “She used to go to bed in a naughty nightie and didn’t care about sweating the curls out of her head. Now she goes to bed with a head full of rollers and a face covered with cream. When we were dating, she batted her eyes, spoke softly, and always looked sexy. But now that she’s got me, that all changed. The gently batting eyes and shy smiles have been replaced with frowns, pursed lips, and shrill tones. No more sexy clothes. Now she dresses like she doesn’t care what she looks like, every day is a bad hair day, and she’s fast losing the curves in her body and developing a pleasantly plump figure.”

I think this is one the hardest issues that happens in a relationship: to be and look sexy. Many women, especially mothers lose the ability to behave sexy when so many things need taking care in the household, especially after dinner when it is time to unwind.

However, from the standpoint of a man, this is also one of the most important elements of their relationship: a sexy woman. So, if you can’t act sexy, at least, develop a sexy body and wear sexy clothes.

After all, how hard it is to have a pleasant figure? My friend Guy complains that his wife does wear sexy clothes; however, she developed such an ugly figure after the birth of their child that he loathes the way she dresses. Conclusion: Sexy clothes in a terrible body does not work: attempt at both.

A joke for you:
A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man’s curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer”? The man replied, “There’s a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin’ good, I’m headin’ home”!

A Word of Advice
Ladies: If he likes those stupid black nighties, wear them at least once a week, or when you are in the mood for some good sex. After love-making, go change to your soft pajamas if you wish. Now, for ordinary daily clothes, it is always a good idea to wear something elegant, classy, comfortable, and, of course, sexy.

Gents: perhaps you want to trade some bad habit of yours for the opportunity of seeing her in a naughty outfit? How can you compromise? Talk to her.

© Maria Moratto 2006
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The Cs to a Wedding Ring Set

Society honors the tradition that following a couple’s engagement, the man presents the woman with a ring, bearing a solid commitment to each other with a forthcoming wedding. Upon all the fanfare and celebration of the woman’s engagement, how does the engaged man become glorified? He might receive a few pats on the backs from his buddies leading up to an eventual bachelor party, but unlike the engaged woman, he will usually not be seen sporting a ring on his left hand during the engagement.

It is on the wedding day that the new groom will finally bear recognition that he is no longer a bachelor, trading in his single hood for the new chapter in his life of marriage. It is also recognition that his left hand will finally grace a wedding band on his fourth finger.

Taking into consideration of the many types of wedding rings that people prefer, does the groom wear a wedding ring matching that of his bride? The bride may wish to have a yellow gold band to compliment her engagement ring, but the groom prefers a titanium band for his hand. How important is it to match your spouse with a corresponding harrismichaeljewelry.com/wedding-ring-set.html wedding ring set?

Matching or not, wedding rings all comes down to what the couple prefers. Keeping in mind of a matching wedding ring set for the bride and groom will demonstrate two important aspects developed in a marriage.

Compliments: The bride may desire a white gold band to match her engagement ring, but the groom favors a yellow gold wedding band. Whatever is your preference, you will be happy with your choice. However, choosing a wedding ring set to match your spouse will signify unity. When you are together with your spouse, your matching wedding bands will compliment each other.

Coordinates: A great example of a coordinating wedding ring set is the Hawaiian wedding bands. On each band is imprinted the name of the spouse in an Old English type font and is surrounded by a Hawaiian floral design. Wearing your wedding band with your spouse’s name and having your name on their ring is a dedicated reminder of the commitment to your spouse and to your marriage.

Visit harrismichaeljewelry.com/home.php Harris Michael Jewelry, an Internet-based jewelry retailer that recognizes the popular demand for a harrismichaeljewelry.com/wedding-ring-set.html wedding ring set.

You Do Not Need A Dating Coach-You Have Your Own Dating Coach Inside (Pt. 1)

I get lots of emails from men and women, and the bulk of these emails are people asking me if they should go ahead and say this or do that, or if they should date this person or leave that relationship.

When I first started out as a dating coach, I had the habit of rushing in and offering advice. After many years of working with single men and women, I have come to the conclusion that we all know exactly what to do and in essence everyone of us has a daring coach inside of us.

Just last week I had a guy who came across to me as a really wonderful person email me about sexual confidence/charisma and “panic” attacks when it comes to approaching woman. He wanted me to tell him whether he should go ahead with a “progressive desensitization” program which basically involved him walking up to a woman on busy main street, quiet mall, a busy pedestrian crossing, in a group anywhere and saying something to them like “I like you” or “I think you are very beautiful” etc. and then say nothing more. Apparently this would help him feel the fear and go through it when he gets rejected. This “progressive desensitization” would eventually make it easier to deal with his fear of approaching women.

We had a couple of emails back and forth and basically I wanted to really find out what “his own dating coach” inside of him was telling him. If he was seeking a second opinion, he obviously had doubts. At first he was a little defensive, said he knew it was only a bunch of words but he’d tried all the other approaches including NLP and they did not work. I told him to really think about it, and if after thinking about it he still wanted to go ahead with it, then by all means try the program and see if it works. Then came the “aha!” email I had been waiting for. He wrote saying he really did not want to do the program in the first place since it involved him making an idiot of himself! I asked “What if I’d told you straight away, go head do it, what would you have done?” And he said “Ignored your advice”.

So why did he write to me in the first place when he already knew what he should or should not do?.

See, the problem with this guy (and is a problem that I come across everyday in my work) is that it’s almost become our nature to focus on what isn’t working. And much of the dating advice single men and women (and the general population) get is based on the philosophy of “what is wrong with me” other than “what is right about me”. We have had more years of experience figuring out and beating ourselves up for what is wrong with us that we can’t even wrap our minds around what is right with us.

If you can turn your thinking to start from “what’s right about me” you will achieve so much more so quickly… You will find that you do not need a dating/relationship coach to tell you the “do’s” and “don’ts” but instead you go to a coach for insights into how you can possibly become the best date, lover or spouse. After all Coaches are supposed to be men/woman who’ve been there - done that - and have had lots of experience being the best dates, lovers and spouses. Right?

Part 2 of this article has a few suggestions on how you can start (on your own) building on your strengths (and potential) rather than obsessing about your weaknesses (and past failures).

About the Author: Christine Akiteng, Internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of ebook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™ helps men and women cultivate that NATURAL EASE that draws the opposite sex in - without the mental stress and emotional frustration of today’s dating dynamics.

Christine’s websites: torontosnumber1datedoctor.com torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and theartofseducingoutoffullness.com theartofseducingoutoffullness.com

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