I must say upfront, I am as “guilty” as the millions of other woman who have a thing for the ‘bad boy”. I have never been attracted to hardcore thugs, so-called alpha males, arrogant macho-men or selfish jerks who abuse, degenerate or hate woman. Nope. My kind of “bad boy” is the “bad boy” with an untamed wilderness of soul pounding in his veins. He is not necessarily big in stature and he does not flaunt his “masculinity” but something about him says he can hold his own and take charge of any situation.
So why do so many strong, take-no-nonsense, independent and self-actualized women fantasize about “bad boys’? The answer is simple. Nature designed it that way!
Men biologically and psychosexually are designed to express a natural abundance of masculine energy. They have an insatiable longing to explore, challenge, take risks and to live a life of adventure. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the hearts of every young boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to be a knight, to be Superman or Spiderman etc. Sadly, most men suppress, ignore and run away from their innate wildness of soul and develop a pseudo or dreamy sort of masculinity. It is no wonder that many men are angry, mopey, timid, needy, nervous, abusive, passive, depressed and bored to death. They feel lost, or afraid, or too paralyzed to know what to do next.
It is pseudo masculinity that drives a man to seek ways to manipulate instead of explore, dominate instead of challenge, control instead of take risks. It is dreamy masculinity that makes a man settle for a neat and orderly life in Polly Ann’s parlor where she tells him when, how and where to eat, sleep and even speak. Even the mundane attempts at success, money and influence don’t make up for the deeper feelings brought about by loss of that innate wildness of soul. And as if that’s not enough, women leave you for a “bad boy.”
What millions of women are attracted to is NOT the “bad” in the “bad boy” but the abundance of masculine energy that the “bad boy” oozes. So instead of complaining and insulting women for doing what is “natural” rave up your own masculine energy, it is possible to have the best of both worlds!!
1. Develop self-assured confidence where you feel secure enough to just be yourself. Bad boys have that deep-seated confidence that comes from “I know who I am, and I like who I am”. And many woman find a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to express it very attractive.
2. Have a backbone – Bad boys are not easily manipulated. This may surprise many men, but women actually find a man who can say “no”, “that’s enough”, “later”, “stop it” or “I want you now” really attractive. It’s not just the fact that he can say these things that makes him attractive it’s how he says them – with sensitivity, affection and with a backbone!
3. Get into the emotions – A bad boy can cry and not feel bad about it. After all he is already “bad” (translated: society doesn’t tell him how to be a man). Most men are afraid to show emotions because emotions are a whole other different world for them. If you do not have a deeper understanding of emotions, you’ll find yourself confusing logic with emotions. For example when she says “I FEEL you are being unfair, you’ll hear “I THINK you are being unfair” because you are so accustomed to “thinking” than feeling. The result is total confusion. Emotions are real. They happen. You’ll’ never get far with women if you do not know how to touch their primal emotions – never!
4. Offer something that’s different – There you have it, bad boys give women that extra something that most men can’t. if you want to keep her hooked, then give her something different - in the way you treat her, the way you look at her, the way you talk to her, the way you touch her, the way you smell, the you kiss, they way you make love, the way you do everything. That’s so sexy!
5. Be unpredictably engaging – Predictable and structured is a cardinal sin when it comes to attracting the opposite gender. Women want someone who injects passion, excitement, pleasure and meaning into their otherwise structured lifestyles.
6. Cultivate some degree of mystery – I’ve said it a zillion times before, mystery is an aphrodisiac. The only people who do not enjoy a certain degree of mystery are people who wake up in the morning, call up the psychic network, and call it a day. The very nature of the universe is that of mystery! And bad boys bring it with attitude!
7. Allow some level of vulnerability – This is where most bad boys beat other men, hands down. Rejection is part of their daily lives and they take it in stride. When they see a woman they are attracted to, they just go for it – and this can be a real turn on for a woman. So don’t be too afraid to approach women because you’ll be rejected or too afraid to love because you’ll be hurt. If she’s worthy it, she is worthy to be pursued!
8. Pursue your own personal growth - There was a time when women thought they’d find any man and change him but many of them are realizing that just doesn’t happen. So now they want a man who has done his own emotional work and self-growth. Be ahead of the game by doing your inner work rather than her telling you “you need to see a professional about that …”
Now you know. She doesn’t want another abundance of feminine energy and all the little “sensitive’ things you do that you think if she was smart she should want – she is already “innately smart″ that’s why she’s not attracted to your “too much” feminine energy. And she doesn’t want the embrace of another “woman” (no offense to the “other” sisters, I am just driving a point home). What she wants is to be stirred by your untamed wildness when you come home and to be free to express her own unfettered wildness and abundance of feminine energy without you feeling intimidated, confused or lost.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng, Internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of ebook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™ helps men and women cultivate that NATURAL EASE that draws the opposite sex in - without the mental stress and emotional frustration of today’s dating dynamics.
Christine’s websites: torontosnumbeѵdatedoctor.com torontosnumbeѵdatedoctor.com and theartofseducingoutoffullness.com theartofseducingoutoffullness.com